Fish Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why are fish boots the warmest ones to wear? Because they have electric eels!
There were three golfers.
One golfer hit the ball and it went in the water. He walked over to the edge and stuck his golf club into the water. The water parted and the golfer hit his ball onto the green.
The second golfer hit his ball. It also splashed into the water. The golfer walked onto the water, found his the ball, placed it next to the water hazard and hit it onto the green.
As you may have guessed, the first golfer was Moses, and the second golfer was Jesus.
The third teed off. The ball soared through the air and it too was headed for the water.
However, just before the ball went in the water, a fish jumped up and grabbed the ball in its mouth.
As the fish was about to go back into the water, a eagle grabbed the fish and started to fly away.
Then, as the eagle flew over the green a big flash of lightning hit the eagle.
Well, the eagle dropped the fish and as the fish fell on the green, the ball rolled out of his mouth and into the hole.
Then more...
Two redneck guys go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune.
The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything.
The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day.
It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?"
The other guy says, "Wow! It's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Why is a fish easy to weigh? Because it has its own scales!
Lost on a rainy Friday night, a priest stumbles into a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, he`s just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips he`s ever had. After dinner, he goes into the kitchen to thank the chefs. He is met by two brothers, "Hello, I`m Brother Michael, and this is Brother Francis." "I`m very pleased to meet you. I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I`ve ever tasted. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?" Brother Charles replied, "Well, I`m the fish friar." Father turns to the other brother and says, "Then you must be...." "Yes, I`m afraid I`m the chip monk..."