Fish Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea? Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside!
"Whats the biggest fish you ever caught?" "That would be the one that measured fourteen inches...." "Thats not so big!" "Between the eyes?"
Why do penguins eat fish? Because donuts get soggy before they can catch them.
What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment? A flat fish! What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much? A beer-a-cuda! Who has eight guns and terrorises the ocean? Billy the Squid! What happened to the cold jellyfish? It set! What's the coldest fish in the sea? A blue whale! What did the sardine call the submarine? A can of people! What's the difference between a fish and a piano? You can't tuna fish! Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea? Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside! How do the fish get to school? By octobus! Why did the lobster blush? Because the sea weed!
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
A drunk decides to go ice fishing, so he gathers his gear and goes walking around until he finds a big patch of ice. He heads into the center of the ice and begins to saw a hole. All of sudden, a loud booming voice comes out of the sky.
"You will find no fish under that ice."
The drunk looks around, but sees no one. He starts sawing again. Once more, the voice speaks.
"As I said before, there are no fish under the ice."
The drunk looks all around, high and low, but can't see a single soul. He picks up the saw and tries one more time to finish. Before he can even start cutting, the huge voice interrupts.
"I have warned you three times now. There are no fish!"
The drunk is now flustered and somewhat scared, so he asks the voice, "How do you know there are no fish? Are you God trying to warn me?"
"No," the voice replied. "I am the manager of this hockey rink."