Fish Jokes / Recent Jokes
Review: The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss, 61 pages. Beginner Books, $3.95 The Cat in the Hat is a hard-hitting novel of prose and poetryin which the author re-examines the dynamic rhyming schemes andbold imagery of some of his earlier works, most notably GreenEggs and Ham, If I Ran the Zoo, and Why Can't I Shower WithMommy? In this novel, Theodore Geisel, writing under thepseudonym Dr. Seuss, pays homage to the great Dr. Sigmund Freudin a nightmarish fantasy of a renegade feline helping two youngchildren understand their own frustrated sexuality.The story opens with two youngsters, a brother and a sister, abandoned by their mother, staring mournfully through thewindow of their single-family dwelling. In the foreground, alarge tree/phallic symbol dances wildly in the wind, tauntingthe children and encouraging them to succumb to the sexualyearnings they undoubtedly feel for each other. Even to themost unlearned reader, the blatant references to theincestuous relationship the two share more...
One day a nun was fishing and caught a huge, strange looking fish.A man was walking by and said, "WOW! What a nice Gauddam Fish!"
The sister said, "Sir, you shouldn't use God's name in vain." The man said, "But that's the SPECIES of the fish - a Gauddam Fish." The sister said, "Oh, ok."
The Sister took the fish back home and said, "Mother Superior,
look at the Gauddam Fish I caught."
Shocked, the Mother Superior said, "Sister, you know better than that."
The nun said, "That's the species of it - a Gauddam Fish."
So the Mother Superior said, "Well, give me the Gauddam Fish and I'll clean it."
While she was cleaning the fish, Monsignor walked in and Mother
Superior said, "Monsignor, look at the Gauddam Fish that the sister
caught."
Nearly fainting, Monsignor said, "Mother Superior, you shouldn"t talk like that!"
Mother Superior said, more...
A Cajun was stopped by a game warden in South Louisiana recently with two ice chests of fish, leaving a bayou well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" "Naw, ma fren, I ain't got none of dem, no. Deez here are my pet fish." "Pet fish?" Ya. Avery night I take deez here fish down to de bayou and let dem swim' round for a while. Den I whistle and dey jump rat back inta dis here ice chest and I take dem home." "That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!" The Cajun looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, "It's de truth ma' fren. I'll show you. It really works." "Okay, I've GOT to see this!" The Cajun poured the fish into the bayou and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?" "Well, what?" said the Cajun "When are you going to call them back?" "Call who back?" more...
There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.
He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."
A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling
them dam fish.
The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they`re
dam fish."
The preacher bought some, took them home and asked
his wife to cook the dam fish.
His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said,
"Preachers aren`t supposed to talk like that."
The preacher explained why they were dam fish,
and she agreed to cook them.
When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down,
the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.
His son replied,
"That`s the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!"
Taken from "The Treasury of Clean Sports Jokes" by Tal D. Bonham Published in Nashville, Tennessee. (Somewhat appropriate I thought, as I work at the Australian government body for sport)
A fisherman from a northern state was telling his host about the "big" fish he had caught while on his vacation in Texas. "As a matter of fact," said the man, "I caught one that was nine inches."
The host replied that a fish that size was considered small evenaround there.
"Maybe," said the fisherman, "but down in Texas they measure a fish between the eyes!"
Two guys go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune.
The first day they go fishing they don't catch a thing. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men finally catches a fish.
As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realise that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?"
"Wow!" says the othe guy "It's a good job we didn't catch any more!"
Son Of A Bitch Fish A irish priest took a sabbatical to a fishing lodge. On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in. The guide holding a net, yelled "Look at the size of that Son of a Bitch!" Son, I`m a irish priest. Your language is uncalled for! No, irish father, that`s what kind of fish it is. A Son of a Bitch fish! Really? Well help me land this Son of a Bitch! Once in the boat, they marveled at the monster. irish father, that is the biggest Son of a Bitch I`ve ever seen. Yes, it is a big Son of a Bitch. What should I do with it? Why eat it of course. You`ve never tasted anything as good as that Son of a Bitch! Elated, the irish priest headed home to the church. While unloading his gear, and his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his trip. "Take a look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!" Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, "irish father!" It`s ok Sister. That`s what kind of fish it is. A Son of a more...