Fisherman Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day many years ago, a fisherman's wife blessed her husband with twin sons. They loved the children very much, but couldn't think of what to name their children. Finally, after several days, the fisherman said, "Let's not decide on names right now. If we wait a little while, the names will simply occur to us."After several weeks had passed, the fisherman and his wife noticed a peculiar fact. When left alone, one of the boys would also turn towards the sea, while the other boy would face inland. It didn't matter which way the parents positioned the children, the same child always faced the same direction. "Let's call the boys Towards and Away," suggested the fisherman. His wife agreed, and from that point on, the boys were simply known as TOWARDS and AWAY.The years passed and the lads grew tall and strong. The day came when the aging fisherman said to his sons, "Boys, it is time that learned how to make a living from the sea." They provisioned their more...
Two old men were fishing off a bridge as they had done daily for many years. Suddenly a funeral procession came down the road.
The one old man reeled in his line, lain down his pole, faced the street and bowed his head until the procession had passed. He then picked up his pole and started fishing again.
The other fisherman was amazed and stated "I didn't know you were that religious."
The other looked at him and said "Least I could do, we've been married 42 years!"
A priest decides to take a walk to the pier near his church. He looks around and finally stops to watch a fisherman load his boat. The fisherman notices, and asks the priest if he would like to join him for a couple of hours.
The priest agrees. The fisherman asks if the priest has ever fished before, to which the priest says no. He baits the hook for him and says,' Give it a shot father'. After a few minutes, the priest hooks a big fish and struggles to get it in the boat. The fisherman says' Whoa, what a big sonofabitch!'
The Priest says,' Uh, please sir, can you mind your language?'
The Fisherman responds (THINKING QUICKLY),' I'm sorry father, but that's what this fish is called - a sonofabitch!'
'Oh, I'm sorry', replied the Priest.' I didn't know.' After the trip, the priest brings the fish to the church and spots the bishop.
'Eminence, look at this big sonofabitch!'
'Please Father', said the Bishop.' Mind your more...
Fisherman: What are you fishing for sonny? Boy: I'm not fishing, I'm drowning worms.
Whats the difference between a hunter and a fisherman? A hunter lies in wait. A fisherman waits and lies.
One day some fisherman caught tons of fish called tench.
The fisherman couldn't eat them all so they gave them to the Mayor of the town.
The Mayor wasn't sure what to do with them. Then he had an idea; he would have a fish-eating competition.
When they had the competition, there were two finalists: a man from a place called Fife, whose name was Mr. Hicks and a man that was from Sweden, whose name is Sven.
So they had the final; the Mayor fired the starting pistol and they started eating the tench.
No sooner had Mr. Hicks bitten the fish than one of his teeth fell out. He couldn't eat because of this so he stopped, but the Mayor refused to stop the competition.
So Sven kept on eating and ended up eating nine of these tench fish.
The next day the headlines read:
ONE TOOTH FREE FOR FIFE HICKS, SVEN ATE NINE TENCH!
Q.What do fishermen and hypochondriacs have in common?
A.They don't have to catch anything to be happy.
Q: What do you call a great fisherman?
A: A masterbaiter.