Fit Jokes / Recent Jokes

A steelworker walks into a construction site and applies for a job. The site foreman is impressed by his job references and past experiences. He looks fit and has a good personality. He is on the verge of offering the man a job when he notices a break of six months in the employment record.

The foreman asks "What were you doing for six months?"

The steel fixer shuffles his feet a bit and replies "There was an accident on site and I was injured with a disk cutter".

"That's awful", says the foremen, "Was it a bad injury"?

The steel fixer shuffles his feet even more and replies, "Its not something I would want passed around the site, but the disk cutter caught me in the groin and they had to amputate both my testicles in hospital later".

"Well I can see why you wouldn't want that known". Said the foreman. "You look fit enough now and your references are excellent so more...

The following circulated among us MEN in the Army - just goes to show that we didn’t take ourselves TOO serious:
I am the Infantry, Queen of Battle! I sit tight, stoned out of my squach while my country’s representatives meet the enemy face-to-face and will-to-will across the peace table. For two centuries I have been the weak link in our nation’s defense, I am the Infantry! Follow Me?
Both easy victories and well-covered-up defeats I have known. Frankly, I owe a lot to friendly historians.
In the Revolution I spent most of my time slinking around out of uniform taking potshots at British troops from behind rocks. I invaded Canada, and even that was a failure. My best general went over the the British. For a while there I didn’t know whether to shit or wind my watch, but the French navy pulled my chestnuts out of the fire.
I took on Britain again in 1812 thinking she’d be too busy with Napoleon to notice. I invaded Canada again and got beaten again. On my more...