Floor Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What does a man and a floor have in common?
A: You lay them right the first time you can walk all over them forever!!

A lady goes to the doctor and complains her husband is losing interest in sex. He gives her a pill but warns her it is still experimental. He says to slip it in his mashed potatoes at dinner. So that night at dinner she does.

About a week later she's back at the Dr. and Says "Dr. the pill worked great. I put it in the potatoes like you said. It wasn't five minutes and he jumps up, rakes all the food and dishes on the floor, throws the table out of the way, grabs me, rips all my clothes off and ravages me right there on the floor."

The doctor says, I'm sorry, we didn't realize the pill was that strong. The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages.

Naah she says, that's okay. We aren't going back to Denny's anyway......

Driving with two wheels in the sand.

Dropped his second stage too soon.

Dumb as asphalt / dirt / a mud fence / a stump / a sack of hammers.

Dumber than a chicken / box of hair/rocks.

During evolution his ancestors were in the control group.

Ears are redirected to /dev/null.

Easier to count the bricks left than the bricks missing.

Echoes between the ears.

Eight pawns short of a gambit.

Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor / penthouse.

Elevator goes all the way to the top but the door doesn't open.

Elevator is on the ground floor and he's pushing the Down button.

End of season sale at the cerebral department. -- Gareth Blackstock

Enjoys listening to telemarketers.

Enough sawdust between the ears to bed an elephant.

A good samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk "do you live here?" "Yep". "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" "Yep". When they got up on the second floor, the good person asked "Is this your floor?" "Yep". Then the good samaritan got to thinking that maybe he didn't want to face the man's irate and tired wife because she may think he was the one who got the man drunk. So, he opened the first door he came to and shoved him through it then went back downstairs. However, when he went back outside, there was another drunk. So he asked that drunk "Do you live here?" "Yep". "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" "Yep". So he did and put him in the same door with the first drunk. Then went back downstairs. Where, to his surprise, there was another drunk. So he started over to him. But b efore he got to more...

A college graduate applies for a job as an industrial spy. Together with several other applicants, he is given a sealed envelope and told to take it to the fourth floor. As soon as the young man is alone, he steps into an empty hallway and opens the packet. Inside, a message reads: "You're our kind of person. Report to the fifth floor."

Santa! Your daughter has died! Depressed, he jumps from the 100th floor
At the 50th floor, he remembers he doesn't have a daughter!
At the 25th flr: He's unmarried!
At the 10th: He's Banta not Santa.

Avtar & Kartar used to stay in same building . Avtar on the Ground floor & Kartar on the 25thfloor. One day when the lift was not working, Kartar invited Avtar for a Dinner. Avtar trudged up to 25th floor to find Kartar's flat closed from outside and had a note which read: 'How did you enjoy your dinner? ' Not to be outdone, Avtar wrote under it, 'Sorry, I could not make it .'