Flush Jokes / Recent Jokes
There is no such thing as child-proofing your house
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite
A 4 years-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a
superman cape
It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a
20 by 20 foot room
Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a
few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit
by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh;" it's already
too late.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
A more...
There is no such thing as child-proofing your house
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite
A 4 years-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a
superman cape
It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a
20 by 20 foot room
Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a
few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit
by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh;" it's already
too late.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
A more...
College Habits To Bring Home Try to use your dorm key to unlock your bedroom door. Have your mom scan your ID card for meals. Look for a tray to carry your dinner to the table with. Walk two blocks to go to dinner. Forget to dial the first three digits of your friend's phone number. Dial 9 when calling out of your house. Use your calling card when calling your friends. Walk to the post office to get your mail. Yell "FLUSH!" Jump out of the shower just in case someone does flush. Try to latch the bathroom door because you think you're in a stall. Take all your shower items to and from your room. Get dressed in the dark. Go nuts looking for the quarter slots on the washing machine. Make junk food runs at 11: 30 at night. Make popcorn just because you miss the smell. Order pizza every Friday night. Have one of your friends spend the night because you can't sleep in a room by yourself. Move another bed, dresser, and desk into your room because there is too much extra space. more...
An engineer died and reported to the pearly gates. An intern angel, filling in for St. Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, "Ah, you're an engineer; you're in the wrong place."So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons.One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"Satan laughed and replied, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."God's face clouded over and he exploded, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake; he should never have gotten down more...
There is no such thing as child-proofing your houseIf you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can igniteA 4 years-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurantIf you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strongenough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and asuperman capeIt is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a20 by 20 foot roomBaseballs make marks on ceilings.You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up afew times before you get a hit.A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hitby a ceiling fan.When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh;" it's alreadytoo late.Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36year old man says they more...
Now that Bill Gates has moved into his brand spanking new house in the Seattle suburbs, the following is a conversation overheard last week:Bill: "There are a few issues we need to discuss."Contractor: "Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for the first 90 days and $75 a call thereafter. Okay?"Bill: "Uh, yeah... the first issue is the living room. We think its a little smaller than we anticipated."Contractor: "Yeah. Some compromises were made to have it out by the release date."Bill: "We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there."Contractor: "Well, you have two options. You can purchase a new, larger living room; or you can use Stacker."Bill: "Stacker?"Contractor: "Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into the room. By stacking it, of course, you put the entertainment center on the couch... the chairs on the table... etc. You leave an empty spot, so when you want to use some more...