Folks Jokes / Recent Jokes
Twas the night before Y2K, and all through the nation
We awaited The Bug, The millennium sensation.
The chips were replaced in computers with care,
In hopes that ol' Bugsy wouldn't stop there.
While some folks could think they were snug in their beds
Others had visions of dread in their heads.
And Ma with her PC, and I with my Mac
Had just logged on the Net and kicked back with a snack.
When over the server, there arose such a clatter
I called Mister Gates to see what was the matter.
But he was away, so I flew like a flash
Off to my bank to withdraw all my cash.
When what with my wandering eyes should I see?
My good old Mac looked sick to me.
The hack of all hackers was looking so smug,
I knew that it must be The Y2K Bug!
His image downloaded in no time at all,
He whistled and shouted, "Let all systems fall!"
Go Intel! Go Gateway! more...
Two whales spot Japanese Whaler. First whale: That's the bastard who killed my folks -- lets drown them! Second Whale: "If they killed your folks let's do it!" First: "We'll dive down then surface and blow the ship over with our blow-holes". This they did but the sailors were still alive swimming for it. First: "Darn it! We'll have to swim up to them with our mouths open and swallow them all down!" Second: "No way! I don't mind the blow-job but I'm not swallowing the seamen!"
1. "As we prepare for takeoff, please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are fully upright in their most uncomfortable position."
2. "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only four ways out of this airplane..."
3. "We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wing of the airplane."
4. "Good morning. As we leave Dallas, it's warm, the sun is shining, and the birds are singing. We are going to Charlotte, where it's dark, windy and raining. Why in the world y'all wanna go there I really don't know."
5. Pilot - "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land... it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."
6. Pilot - "Folks, if more...
Josh sent a letter to his folks. He told about a ten-mile hike he had taken. His father wrote back saying, In my day I thought nothing of walking ten miles. Josh wrote back, To tell the truth, I didnt think much of it either.
An old couple in an old folks home are having an affair, nothing much they just sit watching TV late at night while the old woman holds the old mans dick. Then suddenly the old man ends the affair because of another woman. The old womans distraught and yells, "WHATS THIS OTHER WOMAN GOT THAT I HAVENT!" The old man smiles and says, "Parkinsons disease"
In the days of the steamships, only white people sailed at sea.
One day, something went wrong and the ship was about to sink. No one knew what to do, so someone suggested that they do what the negroes do: Pray.
But no one knew what to say. So they called Tom, the black cook, and he came from the deck and agreed to pray for them. He started like this: Lord, on a day of hunger I went to a restaurant and get some food to eat and the sign said: FOR WHITE FOLKS ONLY.
Then, Lord, I went to a water fountain to get something to drink and the sign said: FOR WHITE FOLKS ONLY. Then Lord, I went to the bathroom and sign said: FOR WHITES FOLK ONLY. So Lord, Almighty, when this mother fucker sinks, let be: FOR
WHITE FOLKS ONLY! IN YOUR NAME I PRAY, AMEN!!!!!
Two whales spot Japanese Whaler. First whale: That`s the bastard who killed my folks -- lets drown them! Second Whale: "If they killed your folks let`s do it!" First: "We`ll dive down then surface and blow the ship over with our blow-holes". This they did but the sailors were still alive swimming for it. First: "Darn it! We`ll have to swim up to them with our mouths open and swallow them all down!" Second: "No way! I don`t mind the blow-job but I`m not swallowing the seamen!"