Fool Jokes / Recent Jokes

A fool and his money rarely get together to start with.

You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can make a fool of yourself any time.

A guy is walking down the street with some chicken wire under his arm. His neighbor sees him and asks what he has.

The guy replies, "Its chicken wire and I'm going to catch some chickens."

His neighbor says, "You fool, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire." Later that night, he sees the guy walking down the street dragging 12 chickens. The next day he sees him walking down the street with some duct tape under his arm. Once again he asks what the guy is up to.

The guy says he has some duct tape and he is going to catch some ducks.

He replies, "You fool, you can't catch ducks with duct tape." Sure enough later that night, he sees the guy walking down the street dragging 12 ducks behind him. The next day, he sees the guy walking with something else under his arm. He asks what it is.

The guy replies, "Its pussy willow." He says, "Hold on, let me get my hat."

You can fool all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, and that should be sufficient for most purposes.

You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can never fool a Mom.

Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game. And for the third
week in a row, it was raining too hard to play.
Bill: Well, Bob, what do you want to do now?
Bob: Darts?
Bill: Nah.
Bob: Shoot some pool?
Bill: Nah.
Bob: Cards?
Bill: Nah. Hey, I've got an idea. We can go over to my house and fool around
with my wife.
Bob: Whadaya mean?
Bill: Just what I said. We'll go to my house and we can fool around with my
wife.
Bob: What about me?
Bill: She's a sport. She won't mind at all.
Bob: Well... if you think it's okay...
Bill: Sure. C'mon, let's go!

Bureau Termination, Law of: When a government bureau is scheduled to be phased out, the number of employees in that bureau will double within 12 months after the decision is made.
Brooke’s Law: Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.
Calkin’s Law of Menu Language: The number of adjectives and verbs that are added to the description of a menu item is in inverse proportion to the quality of the dish.
Canada Bill Jones’s Motto: It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
Canada Bill Jones’s Supplement: A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.
Captain Penny’s Law: You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you Can’t Fool Mom.
Carlson’s Consolation: Nothing is ever a complete failure; it can always serve as a bad example.
Carson’s Observation on Footwear: If the shoe fits, buy more...