Fool Jokes / Recent Jokes
Old man sitting on his front porch down in Louisiana at 0600 watching the sun rise
sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm.
He yells out "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
Boy yells back "Roll of chicken wire."
Old man says "What you gonna do with that?"
Boy says "Catch some chickens."
Old man yells "You damn fool, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire!"
Boy just laughs and keeps walking.
That evening at sunset the boy comes walking by and to the old man's surprise he is
dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it.
Same time next morning the old man is out watching the sun rise and he sees the boy
walk by carrying something kind of round in his hand. Old man yells out "Hey boy,
whatcha got there?"
Boy yells back "Roll of duck tape."
Old man says "What you gonna do with more...
Natha Singh and Prem Singh, two carpenter friends, were doing a job in a gallery to be set up for an exhibition of paintings by Satish Gujral.
Now during the lunch break, these two carpenters had a couple of drinks. When they resumed work, one of them got hold of a nail, climbed the stool and placing the head of the nail on the wall started hammering on the pointed side of the nail. Realising that the nail was not going in, he had a close look. He still held the nail with its head resting on the wall. He pondered for a while and then called out to his companion, "Oh, Natha Singha, come and see. The person who has manufactured this nail is a fool. He has made this nail upside down."
Natha Singh came and saw Prem Singh holding the nail with its head against the wall. He exclaimed, "It is you who are a fool. This nail is meant for the wall on the opposite side." He caught hold of the nail in the position it was in, took it to the other wall and hammered it more...
After having yet another motion denied by the court, the attorney could not take it any more. "Your Honor," she said, "What would you do if I called you a stupid, degenerate, old fool."
The Judge, now also angered, said, "I would hold you in contempt of court and seek to have you suspended from practicing before this court again!"
"What if I only thought it?" asked the attorney.
"In that case, there is nothing I could do, you have the right to think whatever you may."
"Oh, I see. Then please let the record reflect that I' think' you're a stupid, degenerate, old fool."
If women don't fool around, and men do fool around, whoare the men fooling around with?
A software verifier read in the Bible that God protects all fools, and decided to test it empirically. He jumped out of the window and broke a leg. There he lies, writhing in pain, and happily thinks: "I never really considered myself a fool, but I never knew I was THAT clever!"
"Don't worry. I've had a vasectomy/hysterectomy." "I won't come in your mouth, I promise." "I'm not really married." "It's only a cold sore." "Looks aren't important to me. I like you for your personality." "Size isn't important." "This won't hurt, I promise." "We don't have to go all the way, we'll just lie here and hold each other." "We'll always be together." A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her. A man in the house is worth two in the street. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song. All the good ones are taken. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone. Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs. Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant Do it only with the best. Don't do it if you can't keep more...