Fool Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two neighbours were talking to each other. One said to the other "Have you told your son to stop imitating me?"
The other one replied "Yes. Yesterday I went up to him and said 'Stop acting such a fool!'..."
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. more...
You can lead a fool to wisdom but you can't make him think.
If you were a swine, you would be what you are now! You say that you are always bright and early. Well, OK!! We know you are early. A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it. You're nobody's fool. Let's see if we can get someone to adopt you. They say no woman ever made a fool out of you. So who did? You're very smart. You have brains you never used. You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately. Eventually, you will get what you asked for. Nice to see you on your feet. Who sent the derrick? You are so dishonest that I can't even be sure that what you tell me are lies! You have a good weapon against muggers -- your face! You are the answer to my prayer!! I prayed to find out if things could get worse!!
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish sandwich and I realize, Oh my God...I could be eating a slow learner!"- Lynda Montgomery"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."- Johnny Carson"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."- Paul RodriguezAnd from George Carlin...If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? If a no-armed man has a gun, is he armed? If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter? If firefighters fight fires and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight? If you put a slinky on an escalator, would it go forever? If all babies are cute why are there so many ugly people in the world? What's another word for thesaurus? If you cross a four leaf clover with poison ivy, would you get a rash of good luck? Who is more foolish, the fool, or the fool who follows him? When Dr. Kevorkian watches ER does he root against the more...
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish sandwich and I realize, Oh my God...I could be eating a slow learner!"
- Lynda Montgomery
"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
- Johnny Carson
"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
- Paul Rodriguez
And from George Carlin...
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
If a no-armed man has a gun, is he armed?
If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
If firefighters fight fires and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?
If you put a slinky on an escalator, would it go forever?
If all babies are cute why are there so many ugly people in the world?
What's another word for thesaurus?
If you cross a four leaf clover with poison ivy, would you get a rash of good luck?
Who is more foolish, the fool, or the fool who more...