Foot Jokes / Recent Jokes

How to identify where a driver is from... One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: New YorkOne hand on wheel, one finger out window: ChicagoOne hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: BostonOne hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator: California *with gun in lap: L. A. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: ItalyOne hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game: SeattleOne hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window: Texas city maleOne hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of more...

George W. Bush is seen crossing the Potomac river on foot.

The Washington Post: "President Bush crosses the Potomac River".

The Washington Time: "Bush's conservative approach saves taxpayers a boat".

Mother Jones: "Bush can't swim".

One hand on steering wheel, one hand out of window.
- Sydney
One hand on steering wheel, one hand on horn
- Japan
One hand on steering wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator...
- Boston
Both hands on steering wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror
- New York
Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat
- Italy
One hand on horn,
one hand greeting,
one ear on cell phone,
one ear listening to loud music,
foot on accelerator,
eyes on female pedestrians,
conversation with someone in next car
- Welcome to India!

A& man went into a pet shop to buy a parrot. He was shown an especially fine one which he liked to look of, but he was puzzled by the two strings which were tied on its feet. "What are they for?" he asked the pet shop manager. "Ah, well, sir," came the reply, "that`s a very unusual feature of this particular parrot. You see, he`s a trained parrot, sir - used to be in a circus. If you pull the string on his left foot, he says Hello!, and if you pull the string on his right foot he says Goodbye!" "And what happens if I pull both the strings at the same time?" "I fall from my perch, you fool!" screeched the parrot.

One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: New York One hand on wheel, one finger out window: Chicago One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator: California With gun in lap: L.A. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game: Seattle One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window: Texas city male One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road: Texas country male One hand more...

The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.

A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, sir. You're obviously drunk"

The wasted wino asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Obviously relieved, the wino said "That's a relief - I thought I was a cripple."

What usually happens when a man puts his best foot forward?
It ends up in his mouth!