Ford Jokes / Recent Jokes

This guy walks into a bar and two steps in realizes it's a gay bar, but decides, "What the heck, I really want a drink." When the gay waiter approaches he says to the guy, "What's the name of your penis?" Guy: Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink. Waiter: I'm sorry, but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for instance is called' Nike" for the slogan' Just Do It' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his' Snickers' because' It Really Satisfies'. The guy looks dumbfounded, so the waiter says he'll give him a couple of minutes to think it over. So the guy turns to the man on his left and asks, "Hey, bud, what's the name of your penis?" Other customer: Timex! First guy: Why Timex? Other guy: Because it takes a lickin and keeps on tickin! A little shaken, he turns to the guy on his right. First guy: What's the name of your penis? Second guy: Ford! Because quality is job #1! Have you driven a Ford lately? more...

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the Gates, St. Peter greets Ford, and tells him, "Well, you've been such a good guy, and your invention... the assembly line for the automobiles... changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone in Heaven you want."
Ford thinks about it, and says, "I want to hang out with God Himself."
So, the befuddled St. Peter takes Ford to the Throne Room, and introduces him to God. Ford then asks God, "When you invented woman, what were you thinking?"
God asks, "What do you mean?"
"Well," says Ford, "you have some major design flaws in your invention:
There's too much front end protrusion.
It chatters way too much at high speeds.
Maintenance is extremely high.
It constantly needs repainting and refinishing.
It is out of commission at least 5 or 6 of every 28 days.
The rear end wobbles too much.
The intake is placed too close to the more...

Henry Ford went to heaven upon his death and was given a warm welcome at the pearly gates. St. Peter, after completing the formalities, asked him how he would like to spend his time.
Ford, the great inventor, asked to see some of the inventors before him. So St. Peter printed out the list of all the inventors currently (doing time) in heaven.
As Ford started to go through the list, he came across the name Adam. He queried if it was the same guy who discovered Eve, the woman. St Peters confirmed that indeed Adam was the man credited with the discovery of women.
Ford requested an audience with Adam, as he had a few things to straighten out with him.
When the scheduled meeting took place, Ford was all over Adam, attacking him for the flaws in his invention. "Your invention is the most stupid work of engineering I ever saw. There is too much of front end protrusion, the rear end wobbles too much, it chatters at high speeds and the intake is placed too close to the more...

PlateICNCYDU
MeaningI see inside you, a radiologist's plate
PlateCYIMBRK
MeaningSee Why I'm broke, found on a cherry 95 ford 3/4 ton truck
PlateOH2B39
MeaningA woman in her early 50's has had this plate for about the last ten years
PlateYURNEXT
MeaningOn the car of an undertaker
Plate1DFOAL
Meaning"Wonderful" (On a Ford Mustang. Get it? Foal as in baby horse)
Plate4SAFETY
MeaningOn a Volvo, what else?
Plate9MPGWOW
Meaning9 Miles Per Gallon, Wow! On a 1966 Cadillac Sedan DeVille
PlateAV8RX
MeaningAviatrix (female pilot)
PlateKPASAMDK
Meaning(Que) Pasa MD [What's up Doc? ]
PlateTOOLONG
MeaningOn a Lincoln super-long limo owned by Super Limousine, Seattle, WA.
PlateW8N4FRI
MeaningWaitin' for Friday...join the club!
PlateWNDWS95
MeaningWindows 95, On a customized 95 Chevy Astro Van
PlateXKWIZIT
MeaningExquisite, on a '56 speedster
PlateZMEGOBYU
MeaningSee me go by more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Ford!
Ford who?
Ford he's a jolly good fellow!

International Marketing - Actual Accounts Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It shouldn't be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. For example... The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth." In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead." Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat more...

Henry Ford went to Heaven upon his death and was given a warm welcome
at the pearly gates. St. Peter, after completing the formalities,
asked him how he would like to spend his time. Ford, the great
inventor, asked to see some of the inventors before him. So St. Peters
printed out the list of all the inventors currently ( doing time ) in
heaven.
As Ford started to go through the list, he came across the name Adam.
He queried if it was the same guy who discovered Eve, the woman. St.
Peters confirmed that indeed Adam was the man credited with the
invention of women. Ford requested an audience with Adam, as he had a
few things to straighten out with him.
When the scheduled meeting took place, Ford was all over Adam, attacking
him for the flaws in his invention.
"Your invention is the most stupid work of engineering I ever saw.
There is too much of front end protrusion, the rear end wobbles too
much, it more...