Ford Jokes / Recent Jokes

Ashes to ashes,dust to dust.If it wasn`t for Fords,our tools would rust.

What's the difference between a Ford and a golf ball? You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

This guy walks into a bar and two steps in realizes it's a gay bar, but decides, "What the heck, I really want a drink."
When the gay waiter approaches he says to the guy, "What's the name of your penis?"
Guy: Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink.
Waiter:I'm sorry, but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for instance is called 'Nike" for the slogan 'Just Do It' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his 'Snickers' because 'It Really Satisfies'.
The guy looks dumbfounded, so the waiter says he'll give him a couple of minutes to think it over. So the guy turns to the man on his left and asks, "Hey, bud, what's the name of your penis?"
Other customer: Timex!
First guy: Why Timex?
Other guy: Because it takes a lickin and keeps on tickin!
A little shaken, he turns to the guy on his right.
First guy:What's the name of your penis?
Second guy: Ford! Because quality is more...

This guy walks into a bar and two steps in realizes it's a gay bar, but decides, "What the heck, I really want a drink."When the gay waiter approaches he says to the guy, "What's the name of your penis?" Guy: Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink.Waiter:I'm sorry, but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for instance is called 'Nike" for the slogan 'Just Do It' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his 'Snickers' because 'It Really Satisfies'.The guy looks dumbfounded, so the waiter says he'll give him a couple of minutes to think it over. So the guy turns to the man on his left and asks, "Hey, bud, what's the name of your penis?"Other customer: Timex! First guy: Why Timex? Other guy: Because it takes a lickin and keeps on tickin! A little shaken, he turns to the guy on his right.First guy:What's the name of your penis? Second guy: Ford! Because quality is job #1! Have you driven a Ford lately? Even more...

This guy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar but says "What the heck, I really want a drink."
When the gay waiter approaches he says to the customer "What's the name of your penis?" The customer says "Look, I'm just not into that. All I want is a drink."
The gay waiter says "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis."
So the customer asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer,"Hey bud, what's the name of your penis?"
The gentleman with a smile looks back and says "Timex."
The thirsty customer asks, "Why Timex?"
The fella proudly replies, "'Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'!"
A little shaken, the customer turns to the fella on his right sipping on a margarita. "So,
what do you call your penis?" The other gentleman turns to him and proudly exclaims
"Ford."
The more...

Henry Ford died and went to heaven, where St. Peter met him at the gates. "You have been such a good man and your invention, the assembly line, changed the world," said St. Peter. "As a reward, you may hang out with anyone you want to in heaven."
Henry thought about it for a moment and replied, "I would like to hang out with God Himself." St. Peter took Henry to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.
"Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?" Henry asked.
"Yes, I am," God replied.
"Well," Henry said, "there are some major design flaws in your invention:
There's too much front end protrusion.
Maintenance is very costly.
It chatters at high speeds.
It is constantly in need of repainting and refinishing.
It is out of commission 5 or 6 days out of every 28.
The rear end wobbles too much.
The intake is positioned much too close to the exhaust."
"Hmmmm, just a more...

What`s in a name?
Sam is a nice young man who has fallen in love with a girl he has just met.
When Sam tells his father about her, the father just wants to know her family name. When Sam tells him that the girl`s name is Ford, his father says that Ford is not a good Jewish name and he must forget her and go find a Jewish girl.
Time passes and Sam finds another girl. Her name is Smith so his father tells him to find a nice Jewish girl with a nice Jewish name.
More time passes and Sam finds another girl, but this time he is sure that he has solved the problem because the girl`s name is Goldberg. "Goldberg," exclaims his father, "this makes me very happy because it`s a real good Jewish name, and from a good established family."
Then his father asks, "Is her first name one of my favourite names, like Rachael, or Rebecca?"
"No Father," replies Sam, "It`s Whoopi."