Form Jokes / Recent Jokes

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
11 - 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it...
How can you tell if your wife is dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
How many divorced Women does it take to screw in a light bulb?
4, 1 to screw in the bulb, 3 to form a support group.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
11, 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it..
How many men does it take to please a woman.
Impossible. Once a woman's done bitching about the men they're all asleep.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A women who won't do what she's told.
Why did the woman cross the road?
That's not the point, what's she doing out of the more...

Man - A Chemical AnalysisElement: Man Symbol: Ah (short for Asshole) Quantitative: Accepted at 7 inches though some isotopes can be as short as 4inches. Discoverer: Eve (discovered by accident one day when she had a craving for ribs) Occurrence: Found following duel element Wo, often in high concentration near a perfect Wo specimen. Physical properties: a) Surface often covered with hair; bristly in some areas, soft in others. b) Boils when inconvenienced, freezes when faced with Logic and Common Sense, melts if treated like a God. c) Obnoxious when mixed with C*H*-OH (any alcohol). d) Can cause headaches and severe body aches; handle with extreme caution. e) Tends to fall into very low energy state directly after reaction with Wo (Snore... zzzzz). f) Gains considerable mass as specimen ages, loses reactive nature. g) Specimens can be found in various states ranging from deeply sensitive to extremely thick. h) Rarely found in pure form after 14th year. i) Often damaged as a direct more...

If Microsoft Ran The IRS “Government should be run like a business. ” We’ve all heard that chestnut. Here is how the Internal Revenue Service (nobody’s favorite government agency) would be like, if only it were run like Microsoft Corp. (a successful private enterprise).
- The IRS, as always, announces new tax forms will be mailed the week before the new year. However it will follow Microsoft’s example and actually ship them the following May.
- Responding to pressure from some large corporations and a users’ group, some early copies of the tax forms will actually be released in March. The recipients must sign non-disclosure agreements.
- In June, the forms will be recalled because the IRS loses a suit for appropriating some other country’s intellectual property.
- When you move, the IRS will continue to send mail to your previous address forevermore, just like Microsoft sends its product upgrade notices.
- When you upgrade from form 1040 EZ to more...

Computer Problem Report Form 1. Describe your problem: ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ 2. Now, describe the problem accurately: ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ 3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem: ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ 4. Problem Severity: A. Minor__ B. Minor__ C. Minor__ D. Trivial__ 5. Nature of the problem: A. Locked Up__ B. Frozen__ C. Hung__ D. Strange Smell__ 6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__ 7. Is it turned on? Yes__ No__ 8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__ 9. Have you made it worse? Yes__ 10. Have you had "a friend" who "Knows all about computers" try to fix it for you? Yes__ No__ 11. Did they make it even worse? Yes__ 12. more...

All Purpose Excuse Form, designed to get you out of the trouble you've gotten in. Whenever there's a multiple choice, pick the one that works best for your situation and use it. You'll be surprised how effective this form can be!

Dear:

a) Mom b) Dad c) love of my life d) Assistant Principal e) Local Police Chief,

Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am that your a) Car b) House c) Pet d) Espresso maker e) Left arm was severely damaged by my a) infantile b) puerile c) inept d) comically brilliant but nonetheless sadistic e) woefully under appreciated prank.

How could I have known that the a) car b) jet ski c) large helium balloon d) rodent driven sledge e) Zambonis. I was riding in would go so far out of control? And while it is true that I should not have pointed it in the direction of your a) house b) wife c) Cub Scout troop d) 1/16th sized replica of the Statue of Liberty, complete with lightbulb in the torch e) priceless collection more...

Defination of a BRA:
Holder of the Boulder from the Shoulder.
Full form of MBBS (Degree awarded on completion of the graduation course in Medicine and Surgery):
Member of Big Bowls Society.
Full form of FRCS (Fellow of the Royal College of Surgeons):
Fooling Round the Country Side.

All Purpose Excuse Form is designed to get you out of the trouble that you may have encountered. Whenever there's a multiple choice, pick the one that works best for your situation and use it. You'll be surprised how effective this form can be!
Dear
Mom
Dad
love of my life
Assistant Principal
Local Police Chief,
Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am that your
Car
House
Pet
Espresso maker
Left arm
was severely damaged by my
infantile
puerile
inept
comically brilliant but nonetheless sadistic
woefully under appreciated prank.
How could I have known that the
car
jet ski
large helium balloon
rodent driven sledge
Zamboni
I was riding in would go so far out of control? And while it is true that I should not have pointed it in the direction of your
house
wife
Cub Scout troop
1/16th sized replica of the Statue of Liberty, complete with lightbulb in the torch
priceless more...