Formula Jokes / Recent Jokes

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium and just couldn't put it down?

What's the formula for water? -H-two-O What's the formula for an ice cube? -H-two-O-CUBED

Q: What do you get when you combine Al Gore with O2?
A: Oxymoron

The best chemists would definitely not be pet owners.

Their idea of a catalyst:

2 bags of cat litter
3 cans of cat food
1 can of flea powder
1 collar

Q: How do you get lean molecules?
A: Feed them titrations.

Q: And why does a white bear melt in water?
A: Because it's polar.

Did you hear about the industrialist who had a huge chloroform spill at his factory?
His business went insolvent.

Q: What's the most important thing to learn in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon.

Glyme's Formula for Success: The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

There was a huge fire at a big city soda factory. The city company was losing ground and the owner was frantic. He told the fire department that he needed a secret formula in the safe that was in the center of the blaze, and he would give 10,000 dollars to the department that got the formula. An hour later no ground was gained and a mutual aid call was put out. When 12 departments couldn`t subdue the blaze the owner saw this he raised the reward to 100,000 dollars. Suddenly a small town department drove their truck right into the fire and emerged 10 minutes later with the formula. When asked what they would do with the money one said, "Get them damn brakes fixed we figure."