Foster Jokes

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Foster!
Foster who?
Foster than a speeding bullet!

Three guys were working on a high-rise building project - Steve, Bruce and Bluey. Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."
Bluey says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Foster's.
Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Bluey?"
"Steve's wife gave it to me," Bluey replies.
"That's unbelievable! You told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?"
"Well not exactly," Bluey says. "When she answered the door, I said to her,'You must be Steve's widow'. She said,' No, I'm not a widow.' And I said,' I'll bet you a case of Foster's you are'."

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Foster.
Foster who?
Foster than a speeding bullet!

You might recall that John Hinckley was the seriously deranged young man who shot President Reagan in the early 1980s. Hinckley was absolutely obsessed with movie star Jodie Foster, extremely jealous, and in his twisted mind, loved Jodie Foster to the point that to make himself well known to her, he attempted to assassinate President Reagan.

There is speculation Hinckley may soon be released as having been rehabilitated. Consequently, you may appreciate the following letter from former presidential hopeful John McCain to Mr. Hinkley. The staff at the mental facility where Hinkley is being treted is reported to have intercepted this memo and it reads as follows:



To: John Hinckley

From: Sen. John McCain, R AZ.

My wife and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our fine country's spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know there is more...

Okay konspiracy lovers, the squadron leader for unmarked black helicopters has spilled the beans about the whole Foster Konspiracy:
It seems Bill Klinton (aka Devil Spawn, Klaytaxocchio, Billary, OurPhilanderInChief, etc.) Invited Vince FOSTER and Henry FOSTER over to the secret Hillary Condo for an evening which included consumption of large quantities of FOSTER's Lager followed by a trip to the FOSTER's Freeze for ice cream. Vince FOSTER got into an argument with Bill Klinton over the use of drug money laundered through the Whitewater accounts used to finance the construction of the aforementioned black helicopters. Vince FOSTER was done in by Hillary's personal OneWorldGovernmentGuard and spirited away, once again using the unmarked black helicopters.
Dr. FOSTER's involvement in the Konspiracy is even more astounding. It seems that OurPhilandererIn Chief's ways have "taken seed" a couple of times and it has been Dr. FOSTER's job to find FOSTER homes for the more...