Bruce Jokes

Bruce Lee is actually a Malayalee, but he left Kerala, the land of MaveLee, because he didn't have Jo lee or Koo Lee. He was not happy to be a ThozhilaLee or Vazhakkaa Lee and decided that he wants to become a MuthalaLee by being a Pora Lee. Actually, he invented his most popular film titles from the Malayalam word Vyaa Lee (Dragon). His favorite goddess was Ka Lee and he enjoyed Adipo Lee a lot. What is Bruce Lee's favorite weapon? - Kodaa Lee.. According to Bruce Lee, which is the Venomous snake? - Ana Lee. Place where Bruce Lee stays when he is in Kerala -Adima Lee. Bruce Lee's Favourite Malayalam Channel- Kaira Lee. Bruce Lee favorite vegetable? -Thakkaa Lee. What sound does Bruce Lee make when some one hits him? - Nilavi Lee. What is Bruce Lee's pet - Chunde Lee What kind of water does Bruce Lee prefer with his lunch?- Karingaa Lee. What is Bruce Lee's Girl Friend's name? - Anaarka Lee. What is Bruce Lee's nick name? - Neeraa Lee. While in kerala he likes to be known as a - more...

Bruce is driving over Harbor Bridge one day listening to some music in his car and just having a really great day. Suddenly he looks over through the streams of traffic and he sees his girlfriend Sheila standing on the side of the bridge looking down.

It's pretty apparent that she's just about to throw herself off the bridge into the water far below. Bruce slammed on the brakes and his car screeches to a halt. he bolts out of the car and shouts, "Sheila! What the hell do you think you're doin babe'?"

Sheila turned around with tears welling up in her eyes and says, "Bruce, honey! You got me pregnant and and I don't want to be a burden so now I'm just gonna kill myself!"

Bruce got a lump in his throat and climbs back into his car when he heard this and says to her, "Sheila, not only are you a great screw, but you're a good sport about it too!"

Bruce, a middle-aged Australian tourist, visits the red light district of Amsterdam and enters a large brothel. It's his first time in Europe.

The Madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain the prospective client. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams and runs away!

Seeing this, the Madam sends a more experienced lady over to entertain the gentleman.

They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit and she sits on his lap. He again whispers in her ear and she screams and runs away!

The Madam decides that only the most experienced lady, Lola, would do!

Lola looks a bit tired, but there is nothing she hasn't done already and absolutely nothing would surprise her. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams louder than the more...

In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes. - Elizabeth Ashley
Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success. - Jim Backus
No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. - Honore de Balzac
Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting. - Ray Bandy
Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. - Baskins
I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting. - Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hall of Fame Inductions
Love: a temporary insanity often curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce
The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity. - Ambrose Bierce
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. - more...

2005 Ryan Seacrest gets star on Hollywood Walk of Fame
2006 Bruce Willis gets star on the sidewalk formerly known as the Hollywood Walk of Fame.