"Great Sport" joke
Bruce is driving over Harbor Bridge one day listening to some music in his car and just having a really great day. Suddenly he looks over through the streams of traffic and he sees his girlfriend Sheila standing on the side of the bridge looking down.
It's pretty apparent that she's just about to throw herself off the bridge into the water far below. Bruce slammed on the brakes and his car screeches to a halt. he bolts out of the car and shouts, "Sheila! What the hell do you think you're doin babe'?"
Sheila turned around with tears welling up in her eyes and says, "Bruce, honey! You got me pregnant and and I don't want to be a burden so now I'm just gonna kill myself!"
Bruce got a lump in his throat and climbs back into his car when he heard this and says to her, "Sheila, not only are you a great screw, but you're a good sport about it too!"
A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when a little old lady taps him on his shoulder. She offers him a handful of almonds, which he gratefully munches up.
After approx.15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another more...
A couple of days into his trial, George, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and asked for permission to approach the Judge.
"Your Honor," George said, "I would like to change my plea from innocent to guilty of the charges."
"If more...
Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
Bubba goes in first, and the professor advises him to take math, history and logic.
"What's logic?" asked Bubba.
The more...
A teacher was doing a study testing the senses of first graders,
using a bowl of Lifesavers.
The children began to say:
"Red... cherry,"
"Yellow... lemon,"
"Green... lime,"
"Orange... orange,"
Finally the more...
there were three young poly boys on a road trip a samoan a tongan and a maori .. the tongan and maori wer in the back seet while the samoan was driving ..
the samoan lost controll and of the wheel and hit a tree ... all threee polly boys died .. they all got too the gate of more...