"golden goose" joke

there were three young poly boys on a road trip a samoan a tongan and a maori .. the tongan and maori wer in the back seet while the samoan was driving ..
the samoan lost controll and of the wheel and hit a tree ... all threee polly boys died .. they all got too the gate of heaven and st peter gose too them ,"there is only one rule you must no!! the boys replied oohh yes .. st peter said to them DONT TOUCH THE GOLDEN GOOSE.. and so the maori walks in acting all hard thn al a sudden few minute later the maori touched the golden goose.. nd jst remembered' OH SHIT" the maori ended ubb with the uggliest gurl in the world ..
next the tongan walks in nd feels fresh and welcome "im finally home ..nd as he walks around he saw tthe maori nd gosse siana ur gurl looks like a hippo bro .. the tongan walks around lauphing nd tripps over the golden goose nd gets ubb " ooh shit" tongan ended upp with a gurl more ugglier than the maoris gurls.. and soo the maori and the tongan walks arounD with there gurl when they turned the conrner shopp and saw the samoan .. the tongan gose to the samoan " siana how did ue end upp with the beautifulls gurl in the world siana? the samoan looks to the ground and replied " SHE TOUCHED THE GOLDEN GOOSE ...

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

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Virgin Mary wanted to visit Hell, so she went to God and asked if she might do so. "Yes," God said. "I have only one warning for you. You must stay away from booze, drugs and men. Will you promise me so?" "Yes," Virgin Mary said. "And remember more...

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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After a ship sank in the ocean, three men ended up stranded in a lifeboat. They floated around for days without food or water. One afternoon a bottle floated up to the boat. The men grabbed the bottle and when
they pulled the cork out of the bottle, a genie appeared.'I'll more...

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Husband to wife: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet bowl.
Husband: How does that help?
Wife: I use your toothbrush.

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