"Realtors and Speeding Tickets?" joke
A Realtor, driving his buyers around looking at houses, is suddenly pulled over by a policeman. The policeman approaches the Realtor’s car door, and the Realtor says "Is there a problem officer?"
The policeman says, "Sir you were speeding. Can I see your driver’s license please?"
The driver responds, "I can’t give it to you – because I don`t have one..."
"You don`t have one," asks the policeman?
The Realtor responds, "I lost it 4 times for drunk driving..."
The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration please?"
"I am sorry, I can do that either," replies the Realtor, as the homebuyers in the back seat look stunned.
The policeman says, "Why not?"
"I stole this car," the Realtor responds, as the homebuyers in the back seat look shocked.
The Officer says, "Stole it?"
The Realtor says, "Yes I stole it, and I killed the owner."
"You what?" says the policeman!
"She`s in a boot, in the trunk of the car - if you want to see."
The Officer looks at the man in alarm and slowly backs away to his car and calls for backup. The homebuyers are as white as a ghost – in total terror shock in the back seat. Within minutes, five police car show up, surrounding the car in every direction. A senior Officer slowly approaches the car, grasping his half drawn gun. The senior Officer says "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!"
The Realtor steps out on his vehicle, and says "Is there a problem officer?"
"One of my officers told me that you had stolen this car and murdered the owner."
"Murdered the owner" the Realtor says?
The senior Officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car?"
The Realtor opens the trunk, revealing nothing but a bunch of For Sale signs and an empty boot.
The Officer says, "Is this your car sir?"
The man says "Yes," and hands over the registration papers.
The Officer, understandably, is quite stunned and perplexed – and says "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driver`s license either?"
The Realtor digs into his back pant pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the Officer. The Officer opens the wallet and examines the driver’s license. He looks quite puzzled…as do the very ‘relieved’ couple sitting in the back seat!
"Thank you Sir, one of my patrol officers told me you didn`t have a driver`s license, stole this car, and murdered the owner."
The Realtor replies, "I bet you that ‘liar’ told you I was speeding, too!!!"
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Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!