Four Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Gutter-Mind Test! 1). What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse? 2). What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of? 3). What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it? 4). What word starts with f and ends with u-c-k? 5). Name five words that are each four letters long, end in u-n-t, one of which is a word for a woman? 6). What does a dog do that you can step into? 7). What is a 4-letter word that begins with f and ends with k, and if you can't get one you can use your hands? 8). What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat? 9). What four-letter word ends in i-t and is found on the bottom of birdcages? 10). What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're more...

A famous reporter was doing a documentary on the customs of the
American Indians. After a tour of a reservation that they were on,
she asked what was the significance and major differences in the
number of feathers on the head dresses that they were wearing.
She asked a young Indian who only had one feather on his head
dress. His reply was, "ME ONLY HAVE ONE WIFE, ME HAVE ONLY ONE
FEATHER."
She asked another young man, feeling that the first guy was only
joking. This young Indian had four feathers on his head dress. He
replied,"OGH! ME HAVE FOUR FEATHERS BECAUSE ME SLEEPS WITH FOUR
WIVES."
Still not convinced about the number of feathers actually indicated
the number of wives involved, she decided to interview the Chief. Now
the Chief had a head dress full of feathers, which needless to say,
amused the reporter. She asked the Chief, "Why do you have so many
feathers on your head more...

It was Friday, and four nuns went to the priest at the local Catholic church to ask for the weekend off. They argued back and forth for a few minutes. Finally the priest agreed to let them leave the convent for the weekend.
"However", he said, "as soon as you get back Monday morning I want you to confess to me what you did over the weekend." The four nuns agree, and run off.
Monday comes, and the four nuns return. The first nun goes to the priest and says, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." The priest asks, "What did you do, Sister?" She replies, "I watched an R-rated movie." The priest looks up at heaven for a few seconds, then replies, "You are forgiven. Go and drink the holy water."
The first nun leaves, and the fourth nun begins to chuckle quietly under her breath. The second nun then goes up to the priest and says, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." The priest replies, "OK, what more...

1. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape.
2. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
3. When you hear the toilet flush and the words, "Uh-oh," it's already too late.
4. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
5. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
6. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes.
7. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.
8. LEGOS will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old....
9. Super glue is forever.
10. McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.
11. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on more...

The four stages of man are: infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence.

Fog rolled in the day he was born, and a bit of it never rolled out.

Folds ace plus red jack hand when playing blackjack.

Foreign substances float in his cranial fluids.

Forgot to pay his brain bill.

Found his marbles, but is playing jacks with them.

Four bits shy of a full DEC.

Four cents short of a nickel.

Full of wisdumb.

Full throttle, dry tank.

Fur coat and no knickers. (Scottish expression.)

Gasoline engine, diesel fuel.

Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

Gavel doesn't quite hit the bench.

Gears grind/don't always mesh.

Gets her mail at an unknown zip code.

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.
When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350. When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the manager.
The manager listens to the man and then explains the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use. He also explains they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," explains the more...