Francisco Jokes / Recent Jokes
A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs. "Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it." "You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take the rat." The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and more...
A tourist wanders into a back-alley San Francisco antique shop and sees a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. Finding the sculpture so interesting and unique, he picks it up and asks the shop owner the price.
"Ten dollars for the rat, sir, "says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it."
"Keep the story, old man," he says, "but I will take the rat."
The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him.
Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but each time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout.
He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot, as multitudes of rats swarm more...
A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display, he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs.
"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it."
"You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take the rat."
The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster. But every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point more...
Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A: Cause their balls show!
NEW YORK, Oct. 7 (JTA) - In the beginning there was an idea and it was good: Jewish beer, named "He'Brew - The Chosen Beer.''
The beginning, for beer developer Jeremy Cowan, was last Chanukah, and it was so good that he sold every bottle of his 100 cases almost as soon as they hit the shelves of the liquor stores, kosher delis and restaurants that carried it in the San Francisco area.
Today Cowan, 28, has contracted with a leading micro-brewery and professional beer distributors in the San Francisco area, and is selling as many cases of the unconventional beer - 500 - in a week as he did during the past nine months.
The beer, whose theme is "exile never tasted so good," is available in stores throughout California and in other places by toll-free mail order through The Wine Club.
The centerpiece of the beer's brightly colored label is a picture of a Chasidic-looking rabbi looming over a landscape that puts the Golden Gate Bridge right next to a Jerusalem more...
NFL Team Lame Names When a football team is having trouble getting into the win column, fans usually assign a more appropriate name to describe that team's performance. Here is a collection of some of these lame names for the NFL. AFC West:Denver Broncos - Denver Donkeys Kansas City Chiefs - Kansas City Griefs Los Angeles Raiders - Los Angeles Faders San Diego Chargers - San Diego Rechargers Seattle Seahawks - Seattle Weehawks AFC Central: Cincinnati Bengals - Cincinnati Plaingels Cleveland Browns - Cleveland Clowns Houston Oilers - Houston Spoilers Pittsburgh Steelers - Pittsburgh Reelers AFC East: Buffalo Bills - Buffalo NilsBuffalo Spills Indianapolis Colts - Indianapolis Dolts Miami Dolphins - Miami StallfinsMiami Soft Ones New England Patriots - New England Patsys New York Jets - New York PetsNew York Not Yets NFC West:Atlanta Falcons - Atlanta Fellcons New Orleans Saints - New Orleans Aint's Los Angeles Rams - Los Angeles Lambs San Francisco 49ers - San Francisco Whiners NFC more...
I wish I knew who came up with this one! I skewers elements of the famous "San Francisco" culture... Zelda and Jane were given a rottweiler at their commitment ceremony. If their dog needs to be walked two miles a day and they walk at a rate of 3/4 mile per hour, how much time will they spend discussing their relationship in public?
Michael has two abusive stepfathers and an alcoholic mother. If his self-esteem is reduced by 20% per dysfunctional parent, but Michael feels 3% better for every person he denigrates, how long will it take before he's ready to go home if 1 person walks by the cafe every 2 minutes?
Sanjeev has 7 piercings. If the likelihood of getting cellulitis on any given day is 10% per piercing, what is the likelihood Sanjeev will need to renew his erythromycin prescription during the next week?
Chad wants to take half a pound of pot to Orinda and sell it at a 20% profit. If it originally cost him $1, 500 in food stamps, how much should Nicole more...