Fred Jokes / Recent Jokes

Fred! What did I say Id do if I found you with your fingers in the butter again? Thats funny, Mom. I cant remember either.

Two men were remembering their wedding days. "It was dreadful," said Fred. "I got the most terrible fright." "What happened?" asked Harry. "I married her," replied Fred.

The teacher was reviewing counting with her first-grade class. "Jackie," she asked, "can you count to 10 without mistakes?" "Yes," said Jackie, and she did. "Now, Fred," said the teacher, "can you count from 10 to 20?" "That depends," said Fred, "with or without mistakes"!

Teacher: Can you count to 10? Fred: Yes, teacher-one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Teacher: Now go on from there. Fred: Jack, Queen, King.

Teacher: If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? Fred: None! Fred (surprised): Why not? Fred: Because you can't lay eggs!

Fred: I've added these figures ten times. Teacher: Good work! Fred: And here are my ten answers!

Mom: Fred, there were two chocolate cakes in the larder yesterday, and now theres only one. Why? Fred: I dont know. It must have been so dark I didnt see the other one.