Fresh Jokes / Recent Jokes

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeastinfection.He was 71.Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years.Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the CaliforniaRaisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker and the Hostess Twinkies.The graveside was piled high with flours, as long time friend Aunt Jemimadelivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as the man who "never knew how muchhe was kneaded". Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled withmany turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting most ofhis dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was aroll model for millions.Fresh is survived by his second wife - they have two children and one inthe oven.The funeral was held at 4:25 for about 20 minutes.

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast
infection. He was 71. Known to friends as "Brown-n-Serve," Fresh was an
avid gardener and tennis player. Fresh was buried in one of the largest
funeral ceremonies in recent years.
Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the
California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, the Hostess
Twinkies, and Skippy.
The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend, Aunt Jemima,
delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much
he was kneaded."
Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with
many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much
of his dough on half-baked schemes - conned by those who buttered him up.
Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. He
enjoyed being prodded by his many friends who more...

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeastinfection. He was 71. Known to friends as "Brown-n-Serve," Fresh was anavid gardener and tennis player. Fresh was buried in one of the largestfuneral ceremonies in recent years.Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, theCalifornia Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, the HostessTwinkies, and Skippy.The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how muchhe was kneaded."Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled withmany turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting muchof his dough on half-baked schemes - conned by those who buttered him up.Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. Heenjoyed being prodded by his many friends who invariably poked fun athim.Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two more...

A young vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood and perched himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Before long, all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He was tired and needing a rest, so he told them to please leave him alone. However, it was clear that he wasn't going to get any sleep until he satisfied their curiosity.
"OK!" he said with exasperation, "follow me," and he flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats following close behind him.
Down through the valley they went, across the river and into the deep forest. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly gathered around him.
"Do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good," said the first bat, "Because I DIDN'T!"

You have to read the whole thing: The following is from a 1950's Home Economics textbook intended for the High School girls, teaching how to prepare for married life. 1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed. 2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift. 3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has more...

Noted Dough Boy Dies
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday of a severe
yeast infection He was 71. He was buried Friday in one of the biggest
funerals in years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs.
Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the
Hostess Twinkies The graveside was piled high with flours, as longtime
friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who
"never knew he was kneaded".
Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with
turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie, and wasted much of
his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he
was a roll model to millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife.
They had two children, and...
one in the oven.

A drunk stumbled into a diner and ordered a couple of eggs. Suspecting that they had run out, the waitress went to the kitchen to check with the cook.
"Hey, Mel, do we have any more eggs?" the waitress asked.
"We're all out of fresh eggs," Mel replied. "All that's left is two rotten eggs."
"Give him the rotten eggs. He's so drunk, he won't even know the difference," said the waitress.
Mel scrambled up the rotten eggs and piled on some hash browns, bacon and toast. The drunk was so hungry, he gobbled down the breakfast without saying a word. He then went to the cashier to pay, and asked, "Where'd you get those eggs?"
"We have our own chicken farm, sir," she answered politely.
"Do you have a rooster?" the drunk asked.
"No, sir, we don't," she replied.
"Well, you'd better get one, because some skunk is screwing your chickens," slurred the drunk.