Freshly Jokes / Recent Jokes
A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part
of the peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines,
the captain asked for questions.
Our intrepid solder raised his hand and asked, "If we do happen
to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?"
"Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air
and scatter oneself over a wide area."
Farmer Brown is lying on his deathbed barely able to breathe. Just as he is about to expire, the aroma of freshly baked brownies comes to him. He has always had a passion for this confection and thinks to himself,' If I could just have one more brownie I could die in peace!'
He calls to his wife but his voice is so frail she cannot hear him. Not getting an answer, he slides out of the bed and onto the floor. He drags himself across the room and out into the hallway.
Down the hall and down the stairs he goes ever so slowly, crawling hand over hand closer to that heavenly smell. At the bottom of the stairs he pulls himself along painfully -- hand over hand closer to that delicious aroma.
He drags himself across the living room across the dining room and finally up into his chair at the dining table. He reaches across the table and grabs the tray of freshly baked brownies.
As he drags the tray towards himself it makes a scraping noise, and more...
A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part of the peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines, the captain asked for questions. Our intrepid solder raised his hand and asked, "If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?" "Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area."
The first salute received by a freshly commissioned Second Lieutenant is always
significant. It's symbolizes authority and prestige. When I pinned on my new Air
Force gold bars and stepped out to face the world, I encountered a staff sergeant. He gave me a snappy salute and said, “Good morning, Lieutenant. Your hat is on backwards, sir.”
How to write a paper1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate.4. Stop off at the third floor, on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, you can both walk to McDonalds and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you his paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-thru plastic folders, drop him.5. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.6. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.7. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it our of the way so you can more...