Friendship Jokes / Recent Jokes
Friendship Plan Announced
This is an addendum to the new compensation/benefits package.
BOEING MANAGED FRIENDSHIP
Welcome to Boeing Managed Friendship, a whole new way of thinking about friends and relationships at work. With all the recent mergers and buyouts, it is difficult for most people to determine who their real friends are anymore. The Managed Friendship Plan (MFP) combines all the advantages of a traditional friendship network with company-approved representation and important cost-saving features.
How Does It Work?
Under the Plan, you choose your friends from a network of pre-screened accredited Friendship Providers (FPs). All your friendship needs are met by members of your Managed Friendship Staff.
What's Wrong with my Current Friends?
If you're like most people, you are receiving friendship services from a network of friendship providers haphazardly patched together from your old neighborhoods, more...
FIRST THE ADS FROM WOMEN
40-ish... 48 Adventurer... Has had more partners than you ever will Athletic... Flat-chested Average looking... Ugly Beautiful... Pathological liar Contagious Smile... Bring your penicillin Educated... College dropout Emotionally Secure... Medicated Feminist... Fat; ball buster Free spirit... Substance user Friendship first... Trying to live down reputation as slut Fun... Annoying Gentle... Comatose Good Listener... Borderline Autistic New-Age... All body hair, all the time Old-fashioned... Lights out, missionary position only Open-minded... Desperate Outgoing... Loud Passionate... Loud Poet... Depressive Schzophrenic Professional... Real Witch Redhead... Shops the Clairol section Reubenesque... Grossly Fat Romantic... Looks better by candle light Voluptuous... Very Fat Weight proportional to height... Hugely Fat Wants Soulmate... One step away from stalking Widow... Nagged first husband to death Young at heart... Toothless crone
THE MALE SIDE OF THE more...
Very Short Books...1) Outdoor activities in Chernobyl2) Hot Scenic Real-estate opportunities on top of Mt St. Helens3) Investment opportunities in worm futures for the deceased4) Ballerina lessons for men with size 13 or larger feet5) Defensive Driving tips for the Blind6) Contraceptive tips for Nuns7) Delicious Beef Recipes for Hindus8) Mutual Fund Investment strategies for compulsive gamblers9) Cooking with Pork Fat for Vegetarians10) GreenPeace Guide for Buying Quality Baby Seal coats11) GreenPeace Guide to Preparing Fast & Easy Whale Dishes12) Jewish and Arab Friendship Customs13) Human Rights organizations in Libya14) Democracy Debate clubs in Cuba15) Applying for Tibetan Vendors Permits16) Applying for Flight Clearance over The White House17) Guide to Redneck Gay Bars18) Guide to NeoNazis Jewish Friendship Centers19) Famous Native American Judges, Senators and Presidents20) Famous Black Canadian Hockey Players21) Famous Hillbilly Physics22) Guide to apply for Pan Handling Permit more...
Very Short Books...
1) Outdoor activities in Chernobyl 2) Hot Scenic Real-estate opportunities on top of Mt St. Helens 3) Investment opportunities in worm futures for the deceased 4) Ballerina lessons for men with size 13 or larger feet 5) Defensive Driving tips for the Blind 6) Contraceptive tips for Nuns 7) Delicious Beef Recipes for Hindus 8) Mutual Fund Investment strategies for compulsive gamblers 9) Cooking with Pork Fat for Vegetarians 10) GreenPeace Guide for Buying Quality Baby Seal coats 11) GreenPeace Guide to Preparing Fast & Easy Whale Dishes 12) Jewish and Arab Friendship Customs 13) Human Rights organizations in Libya 14) Democracy Debate clubs in Cuba 15) Applying for Tibetan Vendors Permits 16) Applying for Flight Clearance over The White House 17) Guide to Redneck Gay Bars 18) Guide to NeoNazis Jewish Friendship Centers 19) Famous Native American Judges, Senators and Presidents 20) Famous Black Canadian Hockey Players 21) Famous Hillbilly Physics 22) Guide to more...
Very Short Books...
1) Outdoor activities in Chernobyl
2) Hot Scenic Real-estate opportunities on top of Mt St. Helens
3) Investment opportunities in worm futures for the deceased
4) Ballerina lessons for men with size 13 or larger feet
5) Defensive Driving tips for the Blind
6) Contraceptive tips for Nuns
7) Delicious Beef Recipes for Hindus
8) Mutual Fund Investment strategies for compulsive gamblers
9) Cooking with Pork Fat for Vegetarians
10) GreenPeace Guide for Buying Quality Baby Seal coats
11) GreenPeace Guide to Preparing Fast & Easy Whale Dishes
12) Jewish and Arab Friendship Customs
13) Human Rights organizations in Libya
14) Democracy Debate clubs in Cuba
15) Applying for Tibetan Vendors Permits
16) Applying for Flight Clearance over The White House
17) Guide to Redneck Gay Bars
18) Guide to NeoNazis Jewish Friendship Centers
19) Famous Native American Judges, Senators and Presidents
20) Famous more...
Subject: Truth in Advertising
List of Abbreviations in the WOMEN SEEKING MEN Classifieds
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CODE WORD INTERPRETED AS:
40-ish 48
Adventurer Has had more partners than you ever will
Affectionate Possessive
Artist Unreliable
Athletic Flat chested
Average looking Ugly
Beautiful Pathological liar
Commitment-minded Pick out curtains, now!
Communication important Just try to get a word in edgewise
Contagious Smile Bring your penicillin
Educated College dropout
Emotionally Secure Medicated
Employed Has part-time job stuffing envelopes at home
Enjoys art and opera Snob
Enjoys Nature Bring your own granola
Exotic Beauty Would frighten a Martian
Feminist Fat; ball buster
Financially Secure One paycheck from the street
Free spirit Substance user
Friendship first Trying to live down reputation as more...