Fucker Jokes

A Brit, an Irishman, and a Scot go out to a pub and order 3 pints. They each find a fly floating on the top of their mugs. The Brit says, " Bartender, can I have a spoon?" and quietly removes the fly from his brew. The Irishman says, " Get out of there!" and flicks the fly away with a finger. The Scot picks up the fly with his fingers and says, " Alright ya wee fucker. Spit it out! Now!"

Top 10 reasons that are used to turn down the opposite sex
The Females Say...
10. I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that in-bred, banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")
9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
(You're an old fucker.)
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
(You are the ugliest fucker I've ever laid my eyes upon.)
7. My life is too complicated right now.
(I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)
6. I've got a boyfriend
(who's really my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's)
5. I don't date men where I work.
(Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)
4. It's not you, it's me.
(It's not me, it's you.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)
2. I'm more...

One day, there was this small boy who was uneducated. His parents were fighting and this is what they said.
"
You're a bitch!"
said the father to his wife.
"
You're a bustard!"
sard the mother to her husband.
"
Mom Dad, what's bicth and bustard?"
asked the small boy.
"
Bitch is female and bustard is male"
answered the father.
He then went down the stairs to the ground hall. His sister fell from the chair and said "
fucker!"
. Again the small boy asked his sister "
Sis, what's fucker?"
. "
The chair"
answered his sister.
He then went to the kitchen and saw his aunty cooking chicken soup. As she was cooking, she accidentally drop the chicken. She said "
Shit!"
. Again the small boy asked his aunty "
Aunt, what's Shit?"
. "
The chicken!"
answered his aunty.
The next day, two more...