Gambling Jokes / Recent Jokes

The man said he will share the winnings with his wife and sister. Lucky woman!

Q: Why isn't gambling allowed in Africa?
A: Because of all the cheetahs.

Q: Why isn't gambling allowed in Africa? A: Because of all the cheetahs.

Lord, forgive me for what I am about to do
==========================================
A rabbi, a minister, and a priest were playing poker when the police
raided the game. Turning to the priest, the lead police officer
said, "Father Murphy, were you gambling?"
Turning his eyes to heaven, the priest whispered, "Lord, forgive me
for what I am about to do." To the police officer, he then said,
"No, officer; I was not gambling."
The officer then asked the minister, "Pastor Johnson, were you
gambling?"
Again, after an appeal to heaven, the minister replied, "No,
officer; I was not gambling."
Turning to the rabbi, the officer again asked, "Rabbi Goldstein,
were you gambling?"
Shrugging his shoulders, the rabbi replied, "With whom?"

It was little Johnny's first day in a new school, so his father looked up the teacher. He told her that little Johnny was a good kid but that he was an avid gambler. He warned her that little Johnny might win lunch money from the other kids if he was not watched closely. The teacher did not seem disturbed, assured the father that she had handled many such problems and was very capable of taking care of little Johnny's urge to gamble. Shortly after lunch, the father called the teacher and asked her how things were going. "Oh, everything is going very well," she said. "I think I may have cured little Johnny of his gambling habit." The father asked her what had happened. "The little tyke absolutely insisted on betting me ten dollars that I had a mole on my rear," she said. "I finally agreed to the bet and took him to the teacher's lounge to show him that I had no mole, and took his ten dollars." "Damn!" the father said. "He bet me more...

Lord, forgive me for what I am about to do==========================================A rabbi, a minister, and a priest were playing poker when the policeraided the game. Turning to the priest, the lead police officersaid, "Father Murphy, were you gambling?"Turning his eyes to heaven, the priest whispered, "Lord, forgive mefor what I am about to do." To the police officer, he then said,"No, officer; I was not gambling."The officer then asked the minister, "Pastor Johnson, were yougambling?"Again, after an appeal to heaven, the minister replied, "No, officer; I was not gambling."Turning to the rabbi, the officer again asked, "Rabbi Goldstein, were you gambling?"Shrugging his shoulders, the rabbi replied, "With whom?"

A CONSTABLE nabbed four boys and charged them for gambling in a public place. He asked the first, "What were you up to?"
"Nothing Sir," replied the boy. "I just happened to be passing this way."
"And you?" he asked the second boy.
"Sir, I was waiting for the bus."
The policeman turned to the third boy. "Sir, I don't even know how to play cards, how could I gamble on them?"
The constable let the boys go but caught the fourth boy who had the pack of cards with him. "Then it must be you who was gambling."
"No, Sir, there was no one I could gamble with," he replied.