Gators Jokes / Recent Jokes

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,

'Are there any gators around here?'

'Naw,' the man hollered back,' they ain't been around for years!' Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,' How'd you get rid of the gators?'

'We didn't do nothin',' the beachcomber said.' Really?' said the tourist. The beachcomber added,' The sharks got' em.'

Last winter, while sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. The guy could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, “Are there any gators around here?! ”
“Naw, ” the man hollered back, “they ain’t been around for years! ”
“Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, “How did you get rid of the gators? ”
“We didn’t do nothin’, ” the beachcomber said. “The sharks got ‘em. ”

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,

"Are there any gators around here?"

"Nah," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"

"We didn't do anything," the beachcomber said. "Really?" said the tourist.

The beachcomber added, "The sharks got' em."

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" "Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got' em."

Gator Bait!
Twas the 22nd of November, up in Gainesville
The whole Swamp was a roaring, no one could sit still;
The Seminoles came in all pompous and sassy
Planning to take a title back to Ol' Tallacrappy;
Their taunting banners were hung with great care,
Certain St. Bowden would answer their prayers;
Chanting and chopping, wearing yellows and reds
While visions of a national title danced in their heads;
With Steve in his visor, and Bobby in his cap
Gators and Noles hunkered down for a furious scrap;
When up from the Gators there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter!;
My eyes glued to the field, I shed a brief tear
and a Nole sitting near me threw up his beer;
For what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a BIG PLAY Gator offense...and seminole FEAR!;
With our coach in his visor and on the attack
I knew in a moment our offense was back!;
More rapid than eagles, QB's swapped more...

The Visit of St. Nokia
Twas the day after New Year's and all through the state
All the Noles fans were crying: The Gators felt great!
The Noles were all decked out in yellows and reds,
While visions of 12 and 0 danced in their heads.
Coach Bobby, equipped with his number one ranking
Expected to give number three a good spanking.
He figured to rule from the opening snap,
But his team took an unscheduled long winter's nap.
While from the far bench came a growl and a chomp,
The sign said "New Orleans", but this was The Swamp!
And what to our most grateful eyes should appear
But the Longhorns and Buckeyes in Orange and Blue gear.
From UF's first drive to the game clock's last tick,
Twas not just the flu-stricken Noles that were sick.
Their teammates and fans who had hoped to score plenty,
Had to settle, at length, for a score of just twenty.
Meanwhile, 'cross the gridiron, the Orange and the Blue
Set a Sugar more...