Bait Jokes

One day, this woman went to a bait shop to get her husband a fishing reel for his birthday. After selecting one, she inquired as to its cost.The owner replied, "I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm blind and cannot see what reel you have. If you drop it on the floor, I'll recognize it and be of more help." So she did just that.After hearing it hit the floor, the owner said, "That's the Johnson Model9400. It'll be $40.00."The woman decided to take it so she went to pick it up off the floor. Upon bending over, she let rip a stinky, sqeaky fart. The owner rang up the sale and said, "That'll be fifty dollars."Fifty dollars?!?!" the woman exclaimed. "You just told me that is was forty dollars a moment ago!""Yes, I did", said the owner, "But that was for the reel. The duck call is another $7.50 and the stink bait is $2.50."

An old country boy pulls up to a bait shop with a stringer full of fish. A man, noticing the stringer, asks him where he caught all the fish. He said he was going fishing again, tomorrow, and if the guy wanted to come with him he'd show him where he caught the fish.
The next morning the two men meet at the bait shop and head out for the lake. They row out to the middle of the water and the good ole boy pulls out a stick of dynamite, lights it and throws it in the water. All kinds of fish float to the surface and he starts pulling them in the boat.
His buddy is shocked! He says, "You know, what you're doing is not only improper but highly illegal. I just want you to know you could receive a big fine or maybe even go to jail. I know what I'm talking about because I work for the wildlife dep't and I'm what they call a 'game warden'." The good old boy takes out another stick of dynamite, lights it and sticks it in his friend's hand and says, "You gonna fish or just more...

Two old boys from Arkansas loved to fish and wanted to do some ice fishing. When they heard about it up in Canada, they decided to go up there. Just before getting to the frozen lake, they stopped at a little bait shop and got all their tackle.
"We're going to need an ice pick," one of them said. So, they got that and headed on to the lake. After a couple of hours, one of them returned to the shop and said, "We're going to need another dozen ice picks."
The fellow in the shop wanted to ask some questions, but didn't. He sold him the ice picks and the old boy returned to the lake.
An hour later, the old boy was back at the shop and said, "We're going to need all the ice picks you've got."
The man in the bait shop couldn't stand it any longer. "By the way," he asked, "how are you fellows doing?"
"Not very well at all," replied the old boy. "We don't even have the boat in the water yet."

A lady goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel for her hubbie. She doesn't know which one to get, so walks over to the register. A Wal-mart associate is standing there with sunglasses on. She says, "Excuse me sir... can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am, I'm blind, but if you'll drop it on the counter I can tell you about it." She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 220 reel and a 10-lb test line... It's a good all-around rod and reel, and it's $20." She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for, so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register. She bends down to get her purse and farts. At first, she's embarrassed but then realizes that there's no way he would know it was her because being blind, he wouldn't know she was the only person there. He more...

David, the fisherman, had driven by the lake many times and had seen some other anglers about, so he decided to give his luck a try. On his first day of fishing he had no luck at all but noticed that another fisherman near him that was scooping in one after another. He had to know The Secret. "Excuse me sir, but would you mind telling me what sort of bait you are using?" he asked. The other man looked around a bit embarrassed. "Well, I am a surgeon, and quite by accident I found that human tonsil works very well." David thanked the man, thought about what sort of bait to try next time, and left. The next day, David returned to the lake, tried a different bait and still had no luck. Just as the day before, there was yet a different man reeling in fish after fish. "Excuse me," asked David, "but could you suggest a bait that I could try?" "Well, I can, but I am not sure it will do you any good. I am using a bit of human appendix." more...