Lake Jokes

Dear Mom and Dad,
Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two of our sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily none us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happened.
Oh yes, please call Chad's mother and tell her he is OK. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning. Scoutmaster Long got mad at Chad for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Chad said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Don't worry it didn't hurt anything very much, just burned part of the chow hall. Scoutmaster Long said we will have to wash the black stuff off of the meat that used to be in the cooler but he said it would be alright. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas can will blow more...

An Alabama fan was driving down a country road when he came upon two Auburn football players hitchiking. He told the Auburn players to jump in the back of his pick-up truck. He then drove down the dirt road rather fast and lost control of the truck as they were going around a curve. The truck landed in a lake. The Alabama fan scrambled to the surface and swam to the bank. When he looked back at the lake, the two Auburn football players were still sitting in the bed of the truck looking frantic.
As the truck began sinking the Bama fan yelled for the Auburn players to get out truck, to which they replied, "We`re tryin` to get out, but we can`t get the dang tailgate open!"

Tim O`Rourke was walking his Irish Setter in the country side. He picked up a stick and threw it, the dog went and retrieved it and brought it back. Tim then threw it in a different direction and the dog once again went and retrieved it and brought it back. Tim then threw it in another direction and it landed in a small lake. The dog went down to the water`s edge, walked across the water, picked up the stick and brought it back.Well, Tim was astounded. He couldn`t believe what he had seen and threw stick in the lake again, and the dog once again walked across the water to bring the stick back. As he went into town, he promised that he would show his dog`s wonderful new trick to the first person he came across.Once in town the first person the dog owner came across was the town drunk Declan Dunphy. Tim dragged Declan to the lake to show him what his dog could do. Once again, the dog owner threw the stick into the small lake and the dog went to the water`s edge, walked across the water, more...

A negro was travelling in china. In a remote village, he came upon an elderly chinaman skipping stones across a lake. At each bounce of the stone off the water, the mountains surrounding the lake echoed back, "CHING...CHANG...CHUN..." The negro was amazed. He asked the chinaman what was going on. "Oh", said the chinee, "magic spirit of the lake echo back the names of your ancient ancestors as your stone skip upon the sacred waters". "Wow", said the negro, "can I try it?". "Certainly", replied the chinaman. The negro picked up the biggest stone he could find, and gave it a mighty heave across the waters...and as it skipped across the waters, the mountains echoed back "CHIM...PAN...ZEE...."

God and Moses were out golfing. They were both doing well. Then they came up to the 5th hole.

It was a dogleg to the left, with a lake to the right. Moses got up and hit a long shot with a little hook. Right in the middle of the fairway. Then God got up and pulled out his driver.

Then Moses said,"God, everytime you use you driver you always slice it."

So God said, "If Arnold Palmer can do it, I can do it." So he approched the ball. Got ready, then hit a long one. It drifted to the right, SPLISH! Right in the middle of the lake.

So Moses said, "See God, I told you that would happen. I'll get it this time but you'll have to get it next time." So Moses went out to the lake, held up his club, and parted the lake. Then he went down, picked up the ball, and came back. After that, everything was going fine.

Until the 18th hole, straight away, with a long lake on the right. Moses hit a nice straight shot down more...