Lake Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once A Boy Got Admission In An English Medium School. He Couldn't Talk In English. On His First Day They Were Going On A
Picnic. He Got Up Late So He Got Ready Quickly And Went For School. He Took A Shortcut And The Shortcut Was A Lake. There Was A
Man With A Boat. He Asked The Man If He Could Help Him Cross The Lake. He Said That If You Give Rs 10 To Me I Will Help You
Cross The River. The Boy Had Only Rs 5 So He Decided To Swim Across. As He Was Crossing The Lake A Crb Bit Him On His Leg. He
Went To A Hospital Near The School And Went To His Picnic Place As It Was Near The School. The Teacher Asked Him What
Happned. He Said "Ek Kekde Ne Mera Paon Kaat Liya To Mera Pear Dard Kar Raha Hai". The Teacher Said You Are A Grown Up Boy You
Shopuld Talk In English, Tell This To Me In English. He Said" One Kekda Cut My Tangda And I Am Langda.

Two hunters hire a small plane to take them to a remote area of Canada.
Upon dropping off the hunters, the pilot tells them, "Remember only one
moose, because the plane wouldn't be able to take off with more weight
than that." The hunters go off. A week later when the plane returns to
pick them up the two hunters are standing by the lake with two moose.
The pilot fumes, "I told you guys only one moose, you'll have to leave one
because we won't be able to take off with that much weight." "Oh, c'mon,"
beg the two hunters, "Last year the pilot let us take two moose on, you're
just a chicken."
Not wanting to be accused of being a coward, the pilot allows the two to
bring both moose on the craft. The plane starts across the lake,
straining to take off. The pilot tries and tries to no avail as
they run out of room and the plane crashes into the trees at the end of the
lake. A while later after coming more...

Tim O'Rourke was walking his Irish Setter in the country side. He picked up a stick and threw it, the dog went and retrieved it and brought it back. Tim then threw it in a different direction and the dog once again went and retrieved it and brought it back. Tim then threw it in another direction and it landed in a small lake. The dog went down to the water's edge, walked across the water, picked up the stick and brought it back. Well, Tim was astounded. He couldn't believe what he had seen and threw stick in the lake again, and the dog once again walked across the water to bring the stick back. As he went into town, he promised that he would show his dog's wonderful new trick to the first person he came across. Once in town the first person the dog owner came across was the town drunk Declan Dunphy. Tim dragged Declan to the lake to show him what his dog could do. Once again, the dog owner threw the stick into the small lake and the dog went to the water's edge, walked across the more...

A man buys a brand new Grand Cherokee for $30, 000+, and has $400. 00+ in monthly payments. He's pretty proud of this rig and gets ahold of his friend to do some male bonding with the new ride. They go duck hunting and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two Atomic Brains go to the lake with their guns, the dog, the beer and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the ice. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area to attract ducks - something the decoys will float on. Remember it's all ice, and in order to make a hole large enough to interest a flock of ducks - a hole big enough to entice ducks to land, they needed to use a little more than an ice hole drill... Sooo, out of the back of the brand-new Jeep Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40-second fuse. Now to their credit, these two rocket scientists DID take into consideration that if they placed the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they (and the new Grand more...

Two old guys were fishing in a boat on Lake Michigan. A bottle comes floating by in the current. One codger scoops it up, sees a cork in the top, and yanks it out.A genie pops out in a puff of smoke and says, "You get one wish between the two of you-make it a good one."The old man in the front of the boat yells back to his fishing buddy. "Lemme handle this-I know just what to ask for!"He looks at the genie and says, "We want the whole lake to be turned into ice cold beer!" The genie nods and says, "You got it, boys!"And instantaneously, the whole lake is beer! The old man in the back of the boat throws a life preserver, smacks his buddy up-side the head, and yells out, "You idiot! Why the heck did you do that?"""Whadaya talking about?" the other fisherman answers. "I thought you'd like a lake-full of beer. What's the problem?""I do like it...but the problem is...now we gotta piss in the boat!!!"

God and Moses were out golfing. They were both doing well. Then they came up to the 5th hole.

It was a dogleg to the left, with a lake to the right. Moses got up and hit a long shot with a little hook. Right in the middle of the fairway. Then God got up and pulled out his driver.

Then Moses said,"God, everytime you use you driver you always slice it."

So God said, "If Arnold Palmer can do it, I can do it." So he approched the ball. Got ready, then hit a long one. It drifted to the right, SPLISH! Right in the middle of the lake.

So Moses said, "See God, I told you that would happen. I'll get it this time but you'll have to get it next time." So Moses went out to the lake, held up his club, and parted the lake. Then he went down, picked up the ball, and came back. After that, everything was going fine.

Until the 18th hole, straight away, with a long lake on the right. Moses hit a nice straight shot down more...

Lake County, Minn.
Residents of Lake Coubnty, Minn. are thumbing their noses at a Minnesota state law mandating that they rename Squaw Creek and Squaw Bay to something less offensive.
Many of the state's 55,000 American Indians find the the word "squaw" historically used to describe an American Indian woman, to be an obscenity, according to a story in the New York Times.
Other Minnesota counties complied with the renaming law. Squaw was removed from the names of 19 sites - creeks ponds, and lakes, etc,
Not Lake County. They said there is nothing offensive in the term "squaw". The issue, they said, is whether local representation will rule or state bureaucracy.
Meanwhile in protest, they offered to rename the bodies of water Politically Correct Creek and Politically Correct Bay.
Source: Houston Chronicle