Lake Jokes / Recent Jokes

There's a man in a wheelchair with no arms and no legs sitting by a lake. Several beautiful women are running laps around it and the man decides to use his disability to get affection from one of them. The next time one runs by him, the man calls to her: "Excuse me Sweetheart, I have no arms and I have no legs. Will you hug me?"She looks around to make sure nobody's watching, leans down, and hugs him.The man thinks, "Wow, I can't believe that worked!", and decides to try it again.Another woman runs by him, and he calls out to her: "Excuse me Darling, I have no arms and I have no legs. Will you kiss me?"She looks around to make sure nobody is watching, leans down and gives him a kiss.The man is amazed at how well this is working out for him! The next time a woman runs by, he calls out to her: " Excuse me Beautiful, I have no arms and I have no legs. Will you f**k me?"The woman looks around to make sure nobody's watching her, leans down, picks the more...

God and Moses were out golfing. They were both doing well. Then they came up to the 5th hole.
It was a dogleg to the left, with a lake to the right. Moses got up and hit a long shot with a little hook. Right in the middle of the fairway. Then God got up and pulled out his driver.
Then Moses said,"God, everytime you use you driver you always slice it."
So God said, "If Arnold Palmer can do it, I can do it." So he approched the ball. Got ready, then hit a long one. It drifted to the right, SPLISH! Right in the middle of the lake.
So Moses said, "See God, I told you that would happen. I'll get it this time but you'll have to get it next time." So Moses went out to the lake, held up his club, and parted the lake. Then he went down, picked up the ball, and came back. After that, everything was going fine.
Until the 18th hole, straight away, with a long lake on the right. Moses hit a nice straight shot down the fairway. Then God took out his more...

God and Moses were out golfing. They were both doing well. Then they came up to the 5th hole. It was a dogleg to the left, with a lake to the right. Moses got up and hit a long shot with a little hook. Right in the middle of the fairway. Then God got up and pulled out his driver. Then Moses said,"God, everytime you use you driver you always slice it." So God said, "If Arnold Palmer can do it, I can do it." So he approched the ball. Got ready, then hit a long one. It drifted to the right, SPLISH! Right in the middle of the lake. So Moses said, "See God, I told you that would happen. I'll get it this time but you'll have to get it next time." So Moses went out to the lake, held up his club, and parted the lake. Then he went down, picked up the ball, and came back. After that, everything was going fine. Until the 18th hole, straight away, with a long lake on the right. Moses hit a nice straight shot down the fairway. Then God took out his driver. Moses said, more...

Two blondes were facing each other with a lake between them. The first blonde wants to get to the other side so she yells to the otherblonde, "Hey! I want to get to the other side of the lake but I can't swim.Please tell me how you did this!"The second blonde then says, " But you ARE on the otherside!"

A very bad golfer is playing at new course and he is having a very bad day.
He is on the 18th hole, and he see's a lake.

He says to his caddy "I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake".

The caddy says" I don't think you can, you can't keep your head down that long

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs are roaming in the forest when they come
across a lake. The water was enticing and Snow White decides to take a
bath.
She tells the Dwarfs to turn around while she is taking a bath in the lake.
The Dwarfs protest vehemently because they want to take a bath too. Snow
White relents and says, "When I get into the water and you hear the splash,
you can turn around."
Snow White undresses and as she is about to jump into water, at that very
moment, she is startled by a frog who jumps into water before she can. The
moment the Dwarfs hear the splash, they turn around and see Snow
White naked.
Now, given that this incident is an idea for a TV ad, what product is being
advertised?
Scroll down for the answer.
Scroll down for the answer.
Come on now, this should be easy for a person of your mental powers!
Keep scrolling down.
Seven Up

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs are roaming in the forest when they come across a lake. The water was enticing and Snow White decides to take a bath. She tells the Dwarfs to turn around while she is taking a bath in the lake. The Dwarfs protest vehemently because they want to take a bath too.
Snow White relents and says, "When I get into the water and you hear the splash, you can turn around."
Snow White undresses and as she is about to jump into water, at that very moment, she is startled by a frog who jumps into water before she can. The moment the Dwarfs hear the splash, they turn around and see Snow White naked.
Now, given that this incident is an idea for a TV ad, what product is being advertised?
...
Scroll down for the answer.
...
Keep scrolling down for the answer.
...
Come on now, this should be easy for a person of your mental powers!
...
Keep scrolling down.
...
SEVEN UP!!!