Bait Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day, this woman went to a bait shop to get her husband a fishing reel for his birthday. After selecting one, she inquired as to its cost.

The owner replied, "I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm blind and cannot see what reel you have. If you drop it on the floor, I'll recognize it and be of more help." So she did just that.

After hearing it hit the floor, the owner said, "That's the Johnson Model
9400. It'll be $40. 00."

The woman decided to take it so she went to pick it up off the floor. Upon bending over, she let rip a stinky, sqeaky fart. The owner rang up the sale and said, "That'll be fifty dollars."

Fifty dollars?!?!" the woman exclaimed. "You just told me that is was forty dollars a moment ago!"

"Yes, I did", said the owner, "But that was for the reel. The duck call is another $7. 50 and the stink bait is $2. 50."

David, the fisherman, had driven by the lake many times and had seen some other anglers about, so he decided to give his luck a try. On his first day of fishing he had no luck at all but noticed that another fisherman near him that was scooping in one after another. He had to know The Secret. "Excuse me sir, but would you mind telling me what sort of bait you are using?" he asked. The other man looked around a bit embarrassed. "Well, I am a surgeon, and quite by accident I found that human tonsil works very well." David thanked the man, thought about what sort of bait to try next time, and left. The next day, David returned to the lake, tried a different bait and still had no luck. Just as the day before, there was yet a different man reeling in fish after fish. "Excuse me," asked David, "but could you suggest a bait that I could try?" "Well, I can, but I am not sure it will do you any good. I am using a bit of human appendix." more...

There were two old boys from Florida who love to fish, and they wanted to do some ice fishing. They'd heard about it up in Canada, and they took off up there. The lake was frozen nicely.

They stopped just before they got to the lake at a little bait shop and got all their tackle. One of them said, "We're going to need an ice pick."

So they got that, and they took off. In about two hours, one of them was back at the shop and said, "We're going to need another dozen ice picks."

Well, the fellow in the shop wanted to ask some questions, but he didn't. He sold him the picks, and the old boy left. In about an hour, he was back. Said, "We're going to need all the ice picks you've got."

The bait man couldn't stand it any longer. "By the way," he asked, "How are you fellows doing?"

"Not very well at all," he said. "We don't even have the boat in the water yet."

Gary, the fisherman, had driven by the lake many times and had seen some other anglers about, so he decided to give his luck a try. On his first day of fishing he had no luck at all but noticed that another fisherman near him that was scooping in one after another. He had to know The Secret.

"Excuse me sir, but would you mind telling me what sort of bait you are using?" he asked.

The other man looked around a bit embarrassed. "Well, I am a surgeon, and quite by accident I found that human tonsil works very well."

Gary thanked the man, thought about what sort of bait to try next time, and left.

The next day, Gary returned to the lake, tried a different bait and still had no luck.

Just as the day before, there was yet a different man reeling in fish after fish.

"Excuse me," asked Gary, "but could you suggest a bait that I could try?"

"Well, I can but I am not sure it more...

With the advent of Spring in the US, a lot of avid fishermen are already out there trying their luck. My sister-in-law’s husband is probably one of the most rabid around. Returning from a day of fishing near the Chesapeake Bay Bridge I asked him if they were biting.
He replied, “Were they? I had to lie down in the boat just to bait my hook! ”

There were two old boys from Alabama who loved to fish. They wanted to do some ice fishing that they'd heard about in Canada, so they took off to try it. The lake was frozen nicely, so they stopped just before they got to the lake at a little bait shop and got all their tackle. One of them said, "We're going to need an ice pick."

After they got their equipment, they took off. In about two hours, one of them was back at the shop and said, "We're going to need another dozen ice picks." He sold him the picks, and the old boy left.

In about an hour, he was back at the shop and said, "We're going to need all the ice picks you've got."

The bait man couldn't stand it any longer. "By the way," he asked, "how are you fellows doing?"

"Not very well at all," he said. "We don't even have the stupid boat in the water yet."

1.What do you catch fish with?
Fish bait.
2.What do you catch elephants with?
Elephant bait.
3.What do you catch lizards with?
Lizard bait.
4.What do you catch eye-masters with?
Eye-master bait!