Gent Jokes

A city gent comes out of a restaurant and sees a funeral procession. It was a strange one. There were two hearses, behind which a man walked with a black dog on a lead followed by about a dozen men in single file.
Curiosity got the better of our city gent who went up to the man with the dog and said: "I have never seen a funeral procession like this - what really happened?"
The man replied: "The front hearse contains my wife who was killed by this dog. My mother in law is in the second hearse. She went to save my wife but the dog killed her also."
The city gent offered his condolences and walked away but having remembered something, he ran back to the man, tapped him on the shoulder and asked: "Can I borrow your dog please?"
"Join the queue" said the man!

Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now."I would like my grandchildren to say,' He was successful in business'," declared the first man."Fifty years from now," said the second, "I want them to say,' He was a loyal family man'."Turning to the third gent, the first gent asked, "So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?""Me?" the third man replied. "I want them all to say, "He certainly looks good for his age'!"

A gent spots a nice looking gal in a bar goes upand starts small talk. Seeing that she didn't backoff, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied." That's a nice name," he said warming up the conversation, "Who named you, your mother?" "No, I named myself, she answered." Oh, that's interesting, why Carmen?" "Because I like cars, and I like men,"she said looking directly into his eyes." What's your name?" "Beerfuck." Sent by Ron

A man from Pakistan named Abdul was bragging that in his country there are 79 different ways to make mad passionate love.
A gent from Florida listened incredulously. "Why that's amazing. Where I come from there's only one way."
"Just one?" Abdul asked. "And which way is that?"
"Well," the Florida gent began, "there's a man and there's a woman--"
"Praise Allah!!" exclaims Abdul, "Number 80!"

Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now.
"I would like my grandchildren to say,' He was successful in business'," declared the first man.
"Fifty years from now," said the second, "I want them to say,' He was a loyal family man'."
Turning to the third gent, the first gent asked, "So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?"
"Me?" the third man replied. "I want them all to say, "He certainly looks good for his age'!"