Gent Jokes / Recent Jokes

A city gent comes out of a restaurant and sees a funeral procession. It was a strange one. There were two hearses, behind which a man walked with a black dog on a lead followed by about a dozen men in single file.
Curiosity got the better of our city gent who went up to the man with the dog and said: "I have never seen a funeral procession like this - what really happened?"
The man replied: "The front hearse contains my wife who was killed by this dog. My mother in law is in the second hearse. She went to save my wife but the dog killed her also."
The city gent offered his condolences and walked away but having remembered something, he ran back to the man, tapped him on the shoulder and asked: "Can I borrow your dog please?"
"Join the queue" said the man!

Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now.
"I would like my grandchildren to say,' He was successful in business'," declared the first man.
"Fifty years from now," said the second, "I want them to say,' He was a loyal family man'."
Turning to the third gent, the first gent asked, "So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?"
"Me?" the third man replied. "I want them all to say, "He certainly looks good for his age'!"

An elderly gent had somehow developed the unusual habit of spending a lot of time going through the obituary columns immediately after he got his daily newspapers. His young grandson who had been watching him for quite some time, asked him one day, as to who some of the persons in the photographs were.
More to put him off, the elderly gent replied that they were persons God loved and sent for.
'Why hasn't your name and photograph appeared so far? You pray everyday. God must love you more than anyone else.'

A gent spots a nice looking gal in a bar goes upand starts small talk. Seeing that she didn't backoff, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied." That's a nice name," he said warming up the conversation, "Who named you, your mother?" "No, I named myself, she answered." Oh, that's interesting, why Carmen?" "Because I like cars, and I like men,"she said looking directly into his eyes." What's your name?" "Beerfuck." Sent by Ron

Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now."I would like my grandchildren to say,' He was successful in business'," declared the first man."Fifty years from now," said the second, "I want them to say,' He was a loyal family man'."Turning to the third gent, the first gent asked, "So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?""Me?" the third man replied. "I want them all to say, "He certainly looks good for his age'!"