George Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Romantic Comedy. More about the new star of the Republican Party, Sarah Palin. What's up with barely mentioning George Bush? There may be some George Bush themes in McCain's Acceptance Speech.

G.W. Bush was very depressed that people were saying he's stupid, so he calls his good friend, Queen Elizabeth who says, "Now George, what you need to do is surround yourself with smart people. Let me demonstrate." She calls in Tony Blair and asks, "Tony, your parents had a baby. It's not your sister, nor is it your brother. Who is it?"
"It's me," answers Mr. Blair.
George then calls Dick Cheney and says, "Dick, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it's not your brother. Who is it?"
"Gee, that's a tough one George," Cheney says. "Let me get back to you."
Cheney then calls Colin Powell and says, "Colin, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it's not your brother. Who is it?"
"It's me!" answers Colin Powell.
Cheney immediately calls Bush and says, "It's Colin Powell!"
"No, you fool. It's Tony Blair!" replies Bush.

A guy was walking around the office Christmas party belting down drink after drink. But every ten or fifteen minutes, he reached into his shirt pocket, pulled something out, took a look at it, then put it back in his pocket.
Finally, a friend came up to him and said, "George, I've been watching you all night, and I have to ask...what's in your shirt pocket?"
"It's a picture of my wife."
"Why do you keep looking at it?"
"Because," George replied, "When she finally starts looking good, it's time to go home."

The questions are as follows: 1) How long was the 100 yr war? A) 116 B) 99 C) 100 D) 150 Sardar says "I will skip this" 2) In which country are the Panama hats made? A) BRASIL B) CHILE C) PANAMA D) EQUADOR Sardar asks for help from the University students 3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution? A) JANUARY B) SEPTEMBER C) OCTOBER D) NOVEMBER Sardar asks for help from general public 4) Which of these was King George VI first name? A) EDER B) ALBERT C) GEORGE D) MANOEL Sardar asks for lucky cards 5) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal: A) CANARY BIRD B) KANGAROO C) PUPPY D) RAT Sardar gives up. If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at Sardar's replies, then please check the answers below: 1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453 2) The Panama hat is made in Ecuador 3) The October revolution is celebrated in November 4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name. 5) more...

A guy was walking around the office Christmas party belting down drink after drink. But every ten or fifteen minutes, he reached into his shirt pocket, pulled something out, took a look at it, then put it back in his pocket.Finally, a friend came up to him and said, "George, I've been watching you all night, and I have to ask...what's in your shirt pocket?""It's a picture of my wife.""Why do you keep looking at it?""Because," George replied, "When she finally starts looking good, it's time to go home."

********
George Bush: "Condoleeza! Nice to see you. What's happening?" Condoleeza Rice: "Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China."
George: "Great. Lay it on me."
Condoleeza: "'Hu' is the new leader of China."
George: "That's what I want to know."
Condoleeza: "That's what I'm telling you."
George: "That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?"
Condoleeza: "Yes."
George: "I mean the fellow's name."
Condoleeza: "Hu."
George: "The guy in China."
Condoleeza: "Hu."
George: "The new leader of China."
Condoleeza: "Hu."
George: "The Chinaman!"
Condoleeza: "Hu is leading China."
George: "Now whaddya' asking me for?"
Condoleeza: "I'm telling you Hu is leading China."
George: "Well, I'm asking more...

George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked,' can Albert come out to play?'
' No, said the mother,' it's too cold.'
' Well, then,' said George,' can his football come out to play? '