Georgia Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why is "red" the colour of the University of Georgia? Because they can't spell "crimson" or "scarlet".

Atlanta Hawks guard Acie Law has bet a friend $10,000 that the Dallas Cowboys will win next year's Super Bowl. Law will probably lose, but that's just because he's on the Hawks.

After having their eleventh child, a North Georgia mountaineer couple decided that 11 was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem, but it was expensive.
"A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in the North Georgia Mountains), light it, put it in an empty beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to
10."
The redneck said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."
"Trust me," said the doctor.
So the hillbilly went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count, "1, 2, 3, 4, more...

... A University of Georgia student was visiting a Yankee relative in Boston over the holidays. He went to a large party and met a pretty co-ed. He was attempting to start up a conversation with the line, "Where does you go to school?" The coed, of course, was not overly impressed with his grammar or southern drawl, but did answer his question. "Yale," she replied. The Georgia student took a big, deep breath and shouted, "WHERE DOES YOU GO TO SCHOOL??"

1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which.2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes.3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would.4) Act like a hillbilly. Period.5) Improvise Italian operas.6) Gossip about someone to their face.7) Answer every question with a question.8) Repeat yourself constantly.9) Act like a member of the opposite sex.10) Repeat yourself constantly.11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons.12) Repeat yourself constantly.13) Change what you repeat every now and then.14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks.15) Change what you repeat every now and then.16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else.17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries.18) Change what you repeat every now and then.19) One word: Caffeine.20) Another word or two: Caffeine more...

The Associated Press reports that a school board in Cobb County Georgia has abandoned a four year battle for the right to place stickers on their high school science textbooks calling evolution a "theory, not a fact."

"We faced the distraction and expense of starting all over with more legal actions and another trial. With this agreement, it is done and we now have a clean slate for the new year." - Cobb County school board chairwoman Teresa Plenge.
Translated: "We'd really rather not endure a fifth year of judges laughing and pointing."

A new arrival in Hell was brought before the devil. The devil told his demon to put the man to work on a rock pile with a 20-pound sledge hammer in 95 degree heat with 95% humidity.
At the end of the day, the devil went to see how the man was doing, only to find him smiling and singing as he pounded rocks. The man explained that the heat and hard labor were very similar to those on his beloved farm back in Georgia.
The devil told his demon to turn up the heat to 120 degrees, with 100% humidity. At the end of the next day, the devil again checked on the new man, and found him still happy to be sweating and straining. The man explained that it felt like the old days, when he had to clean out his silo in the middle of August on his beloved farm back in Georgia.
At that, the devil told his demon to lower the temperature for this man to -20 degrees with a 40 mph wind. At the end of the next day, the devil was confident that he would find the man miserable. But, the man was more...