Girl Jokes / Recent Jokes

An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?" The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer.
He proceeded to tell her all about the "birds and the bees." When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?" The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."

The dean of women at an exclusive girl's college was lecturing her students on sexual morality. "In moments of temptation," said the speaker to the class, "ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?"A sweet young thing in the back of the room rose to ask: "How do you make it last an hour?"

Once there was this city boy who wanted to go country, so he headed out to a farm to buy some animals.
"I'll take one of these," he said to the farmer.
"What is it?"
Well, to me it's a cock, but to you it's a rooster," said the farmer.
"I'll take one of these, too," said the city boy.
"What is it?"
"Well, to me it's a pullet, but to you it's a chicken," replied the farmer.
"Okay," said the city boy. "And I'll take one of those, too, if you'll tell me what it is."
"To me it's an ass, but to you it's a mule," explained the farmer, "and when that ass gets stubborn, it sits down and you have to scratch its belly to get it moving again."
So the city boy set off down the road with all his new purchases. He was doing fine till a pretty girl drove by, at which point the ass sat down and refused to budge.
Seeing he as having some trouble, the girl backed up and more...

At the zoo a little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Her mom hurriedly explains, "Oh...they're just baking cakes."
The next morning the little girl says, "Mommy, Mommy, you and Daddy baked cakes last night!"
"Um, what makes you think that?" the mother asks nervously.
"Because this morning there was icing all over the couch."

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too. Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception.
A girl named Gita has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I am not an American." replied Gita.
"Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"
"I'm a proud Indian," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Gita why she is an Indian.
"Well", my mom and dad are Indians, "so I'm an Indian too."
The teacher is now angry.
"That's no reason", she says loudly, "if your mom was an idiot, and your dad was an idiot, what would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile.
"Then," more...

The Golds were never very observant. They would mark Yom Kippur by abstaining from ham-if they remembered. But one thing they always told little Billy was: "Make sure you marry a nice Jewish girl." Well, Billy Gold grew up much like mom and dad, and one brought home a lovely fiance, but she was definitely not at all Jewish. Billy's mother took him aside and told him: "We've always told you one thing: Marry a nice Jewish girl." Billy, expecting this, triumphantly announces: "Don't worry, Mom. Patricia has agreed to convert." But nothing molifies the parents: "She is a shiksa and will always be a shiksa." The parents don't want to even come to the wedding: they take a month-long cruise that starts the day before the wedding, and for a month after that, they refuse to talk to Billy. Finally, Billy's mother can't resist. She comes and visits Billy, walking in in a huff with her copy of the key. To her amazement, Billy is dressed in black and is more...

A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled. Finally the little girl asks, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "He sure did honey, a long time ago," replies her grandpa."Well, did God make me?" asks the little girl."Yes, He did, and that wasn't too long ago," answers her grandpa."Boy," says the little girl, "He's sure doing a lot better job these days isn't He?"