"marrying a non-Jew" joke
The Golds were never very observant. They would mark Yom Kippur by abstaining from ham-if they remembered. But one thing they always told little Billy was: "Make sure you marry a nice Jewish girl." Well, Billy Gold grew up much like mom and dad, and one brought home a lovely fiance, but she was definitely not at all Jewish. Billy's mother took him aside and told him: "We've always told you one thing: Marry a nice Jewish girl." Billy, expecting this, triumphantly announces: "Don't worry, Mom. Patricia has agreed to convert." But nothing molifies the parents: "She is a shiksa and will always be a shiksa." The parents don't want to even come to the wedding: they take a month-long cruise that starts the day before the wedding, and for a month after that, they refuse to talk to Billy. Finally, Billy's mother can't resist. She comes and visits Billy, walking in in a huff with her copy of the key. To her amazement, Billy is dressed in black and is pouring over books in Hebrew or Aramaic-Billy's mother can't tell. She goes into the kitchen and finds two complete sets of dishes. She can't believe her eyes. Finally she turns to Billy: "What happened?" Billy answers: "Patricia told me I should go back to my tradition." The mother shouts: "We always told you not to marry a shiksa!"
A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never more...
Two cats: Felix & Un-deux-trois, decided to have a race to see who could swim across the river first.Guess who won? Felix! Because Un-deux-trois cat sank.
(Un deux trois quatre cinq)
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.
First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...
2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, more...