Girl Jokes / Recent Jokes

A pregnant Irish woman from Dublin gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies,' Ma'am you had twins! a boy and a girl. Your brother from Cork came in and named them.'

The woman thinks to herself,' Oh No, not my brother... he's an idiot!' She asks the doctor,' Well, what's the girl's name?' Denise.'

'Wow, that's not a bad name, I like it! What's the boy's name?'

'Denephew.'

This guy walks into a a whore house and ask if thers someone that he could have sex with for $5 bucks.
The lady says no im afraid not sir. Then he replies there has to be someone here plz im beging you. The lady say ok there in that room.
He pays the lady and goes up into the room and the girl is already spread eagle.
So he poceeds to have sex with her and all of the sudden white stuff comes out of he mouth and eyes.
He freaks out and runs back down stairs and tells the lady and she replyes: "Earl the dead girl is full again"

"Equal" is not always synonymous with "the same." Men and women are created equal; but boys and girls are not born the same.
1. You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose.
2. You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find every mud puddle from your
home to the church, even if you're driving there.
3. Boys' rooms are usually messy. Girls' rooms are usually messy, except it's a good smelling mess.
4. A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made. A baby boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.
5. When girls play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to dress them up and play house with them. When boys play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they more...

An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang. It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Treacle, I just heard on the news that there`s a car going the wrong way on the A13. Please be careful!" "It`s not just one car!" said the Essex girl, "There`s hundreds of them!"

A girl came home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we
were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four,
but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home again. "Mommy, Mommy," she
yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids
could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, b, c, d, e, f, g!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she
yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the
other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her more...

A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said.
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy,"
she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy,"
she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she more...

A girl from Oklahoma and a girl from Wisconsin were seated side by side on a plane.The girl from Oklahoma, being friendly and all said, "So, where y'all from?" The Wisconsin girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence." The girl from Oklahoma sat quietly for a few moments and then replied, "So, where y'all from, bitch?"