Girl Jokes / Recent Jokes

A girl in R.E. sits in the front row. A kid behind her kepps poking her with a stick. One day, the teacher asks the girl "Who saved us from all sin?" The kid pokes her. " JESUS CHRIST!" she replies. "Very good, now who do we worship in church?" asks the teacher. The kid pokes he again. "
LORD ALMIGTY!" "Correct, now, what did Eve say to Adam after their 23rd child?" The kid pokes her again. "You jab that thing at me one more time and I swear I'll break it off!"

Bush, Jean Chretien, the Pope and an eight year old girl are in a plane. Suddenly, the pilot says that plane has some malfunctions and they have to jump out. There were only three parachutes so Bush grabs one, puts it on and says "I am an important person, the American people depend on me!" and jumped. Jean Chretien picks one up and says "I am an important person, the Canadian people depend on me!" and jumped. The Pope turns to the little girl and says "You jump. I have lived my life!" But the little girl says "We can both jump, Jean Chretien jumped with my backpack!"

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. As she got to one little girl who was working very diligently, she asked what the little girl was drawing. The little girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused awkwardly and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat or looking up from her drawing, the little girl replied, "They will in a minute."

Why does a blonde girl always have a bruise around her belly button??? Cause blonde boys aren't that smart either.

There were three girls walking down an empty street. They stop in front of this beautiful house. They knock on the door and an old lady answers.
"May we come in?" They ask.
"Sure. But whatever you do, DON'T STEP ON A DUCK."
They think she was probably off her rocker but still step in and walk around.
The first girl see's this really handsome man standing just a couple of feet away from her. She runs up to him and WHAM! She steps on a duck and gets tied to the most gross looking man in the world.
Then the next girl walks in and sees another man and runs up to him and steps on a duck. WHAM! She gets tied to an even uglier man.
Now the third girl, seeing what the other girls get tied to, looked and saw a really handsome guy and looks around. Hmmm no duck. She runs up to him and she gets tied to him. Heaven at last.
"What happened to you?" She asks as she rests her head on his shoulder.
"I stepped on a duck."

A Soviet emigre boy and girl come to a doctor's office and say: "Doctor, we would like to know if we are screwing properly. Will you watch us, please?" The doctor, somewhat puzzled, agrees, they climb on his table, the boy gets on top of the girl, and they have sex. After observing them, the doctor says, "Yes, you're having sex properly. That will be forty dollars." They come back the next day with the same request, but this time the boy enters the girl from the rear. They keep coming for four days in a row, using different positions every day. On the fifth visit the doctor says, "Why do you keep on coming back? I told you you're having sex properly." The boy explains, "The hotel room costs the same forty dollars, but this way we get reimbursed by Medicaid."

Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a
mosquito enters the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have
bitten?
A. The boy's hand

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES.

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-days and if
it doesn't come means you are in big trouble.

Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology.
When the baby looks like the neighbour, then it is sociology.

Q: What's the height of recycling?
A: Sending a sanitary napkin for dry cleaning

Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals
a day as I have advised?
A. Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day

Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath.
Tarzan more...