Girls Jokes / Recent Jokes

A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints.
Before it got out of hand he thought he'd better do something. He spoke to all the girls that wore lipstick and asked them to meet him in the ladies room at 2pm.
When they arrived they found the principal and the school custodian waiting for them. The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies would better understand the problem if they saw how hard it was to clean.
The custodian then demonstrated. He took a berdaggled brush on a long handle out of a box. He dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick.

A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom, they would press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints.
Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered together all the girls who wore lipstick and told them to meet him at the ladies room at 3:00 PM.
They gathered that afternoon at the appointed time and found the principal and school custodian waiting for them.
The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was and he wanted them to witness how hard it was to clean it.
The custodian then demonstrated. He took a long-handled brush out of a box, dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, walked over to the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick. It was the last time he had to do so!

According to a news report, a certain private school in Victoria,
BC recently was faced with a unique problem.
A number of grade 12 girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.
She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there more...

THE IRS LETTER... Dear Sirs: I am responding to your letter denying the deduction for two of the three dependents I claimed on my 1996 Federal Tax return. Thank you. I have questioned whether these are my children or not for years. They are evil and expensive. It's only fair, since they are minors and not my responsbility, that the government (who evidently is taxing me more to care for these waifs) knows something about them and what to expect over the next year. You may apply next year to reassign them to me and reinstate the deduction. This year they are yours! The oldest, Kristen, is now 17. She is brillant. Ask her! I suggest you put her to work in your office where she can answer people's questions about their returns. While she has no formal training, it has not seemed to hamper her knowledge of any other subject you can name. Taxes should be a breeze. Next year she is going to college. I think it's wonderful that you will now be responsible for that little expense. While you more...

A dedicated UPS (United Parcel Service) union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels nearby. When he got to the first one, he asked the madam, "Is this a union house?"
"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."
"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" he asked.
"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20," she says.
Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the madam responded, "Why yes sir, this IS a union house."
The man asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20," replied the madam.
"That's more like it!" the UPS man said. He looked around the room and pointed to a stunningly attractive blonde. more...

Girls are like pregnancy tests: when i pee on them, i never get positive results.

You have a nickname like Pinto, Bunty, Bunny, Dolly, or Penny. Your last name is longer than ten letters, i. e. Chandraprakash or Subramanian. You get high off butter chicken and/or mango frooti. Your gang's name is the Fob Squad or Fobby By Nature. Your gang's uniform is a Michael Jackson T-shirt with Rambo pants. Your top pick-up line is "Just have your mummy call my mummy baby, it isbeing all good." You use a whole bottle of hair gel whenever you leave the house. At clubs, you're overheard saying, "So what if my mummy picks out myclothes, you know this gear is fly baby!" (for guys) You wear tight-ass jeans. (for girls) You have to jack up your pants to get them tight. (for girls) You have a mustache. (for guys and girls) You are a pencil-bearded Malu. Your the captain and sole member of your school's cricket team. You play the sitar and/or tabla three hours everyday. You go to Rutgers University or the University of Maryland at CollegePark. You wear a turban, more...