Glove Jokes / Recent Jokes

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine-year-old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet as well.
Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
"Yes it is." the man replies.
"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.
"No thanks." the man replies.
"I think you do want to buy a baseball" the little extortionist continues.
"Okay. How much?" the man replies, after considering the position he is in. "Twenty-five dollars." the little boy replies.
"Twenty-five dollars!" the man repeats incredulously, but complies to protect his hidden position.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again, when she hears a car in the driveway and again places her lover in the closet with her little boy.
"It's dark in here, isn't it?" the more...

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine-year-old son in the closet.
One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well.
Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
"Yes it is," the man replies.
"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.
"No thanks," the man replies.
"I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues.
"OK. How much?" the man replies after considering the position he is in.
"Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies. "TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats incredulously, but complies to protect his hidden position.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway and, again, places her lover in the closet with her little boy.
"It's dark in here, isn't more...

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine-year-old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet as well.Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?""Yes it is." the man replies."You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks."No thanks." the man replies."I think you do want to buy a baseball" the little extortionist continues."Okay. How much?" the man replies, after considering the position he is in. "Twenty-five dollars." the little boy replies."Twenty-five dollars!" the man repeats incredulously, but complies to protect his hidden position.The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again, when she hears a car in the driveway and again places her lover in the closet with her little boy."It's dark in here, isn't it?" the boy starts off."Yes it is." replies more...

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.
One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well.
Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
"Yes it is," the man replies.
"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.
"No thanks," the man replies.
"I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues.
"OK. How much?" the man replies after considering the position he was in.
"Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies.
"TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats. "That's awful expensive", but because of the position he was in, agreed to the price.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway and, again, places her lover in the closet with her little more...

Roy Collette and his brother-in-law have been exchanging the same pair of pants as a Christmas present for 11 years - and each time the package gets harder to open. This year the pants came wrapped in a car mashed into a 3-foot cube.
The trousers are in the glove compartment of a 1974 Gremlin. Now Collette's plotting his revenge-if he can get them out.
It all started when Collette received a pair of moleskin trousers from his brother-in-law, Larry Kunkel of Bensenville, Ill. Kunkel's mother had given her son the britches when he was a college student.
He wore them a few times, but they froze stiff in cold weather and he didn't like them. So he gave them to Collette.
Collette, who called the moleskins "miserable", wore them three times, then wrapped them up and gave them back to Kunkel for Christmas the next year.
The friendly exchange continued routinely until Collette twisted the pants tightly, stuffed them into a 3-foot-long, 1-inch wide tube and gave more...

After months of silence, OJ finally spoke at the trial. His words to
Judge Ito were.. "I did not,
could not and would not have committed this crime.
Seems with a little help from Dr. Suess and a bit more time, he and
Judge Ito could have
extended this statement:
Ito's statements in ALL CAPS... OJ's in lower case.
DID YOU DO THIS AWFUL CRIME?
DID YOU DO IT ANYTIME?
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not, anytime.
DID YOU TAKE THIS PERSON'S LIFE?
DID YOU DO IT WITH A KNIFE?
I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not, kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime
I could not, would not, anytime.
DID YOU LEAVE A POOL A BLOOD?
DID YOU DROP THIS BLOODY GLOVE?
I did not leave a pool of blood.
I can not even wear that glove.
I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not, kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime
I could not, would not, anytime.
I do not like more...

A policeman was sitting on the hard shoulder watching the traffic go by when a car zoomed past him doing at least 120 mph!

The policeman chased him down, and pulled the car over. He went up to the car and asked, "Do you know that you were doing at least 50 mph over the speed limit?"

The driver replied, "Was I officer, I''m terribly sorry but I wasn''t aware of that."

The policeman said, "May I see your drivers license please?"

The man replied, "I don''t have one officer."

"Of course you do," said the policeman.

"No sir, I don''t," said the man.

"So why do you have this car?" asked the policeman.

"This is not my car, I stole it," said the man.

"You are driving a stolen car?" said the policeman.

"Yes I''m afraid so sir,"

Looking puzzled the policeman said, "Let me more...