Gloves Jokes / Recent Jokes

There once was a lady whose tooth was hurting, so she went to the dentist. He called her into his office; but as he put on his gloves, he could tell she was getting nervous. To calm her down, he asked, "Do you know how they make rubber gloves?"
"No," the lady admitted.
He said, "What you do is, you stick your hands in a big bowl of rubber and take them out again. Then you stick them up in the air and let them dry. When they finish drying, you pull off a pair of rubber gloves."
The lady didn't say a word for several moments, then started to giggle. "What's so funny?" the dentist asked.
The lady laughed and said, "I bet I know how they make condoms!"

This is supposedly a true story, it happened in a small town of the province of Quebec, Canada, in October 1996. They showed the video surveillance tape on the news, and even the anchorman was laughing through it.

A robber came into a convenience store wearing a ski mask and a gun wanting to empty the cash register. He took the clerk to the backstore and locked her up in the fridge. Unfortunately, when he came back to the front of the store, a customer had come in. So he took *off* the ski mask and the gloves, and pretended to be filling in for the clerk. The customer wanted a lottery ticket, so he tried to help her out, by pressing a whole bunch of buttons on the machine (thus leaving fingerprints everywhere), but the machine was not cooperating.

Meanwhile, another customer walks in. Finally, he tells the first customer (after about 5 minutes of close-up shots from the camera) that the machine is not working and that he won't be able to help her. The robber more...

A surgeon told his patient upon waking up from an operation, I'm afraid we're going to have to operate on you again. I seem to have left my rubber gloves inside.
Well, if it's just for the gloves, I'd rather pay for them and you can leave me intact.

A guy decides to buy his new girlfriend a pair of gloves for Christmas-after all, they've only known each other for three weeks. Romantic, yet not too personal. Accompanied by her younger sister, he goes to the mall and buys a pair of white gloves. The sister picks up a pair of panties for herself. But during the wrapping, the clerk mixes up the parcels. The sister gets the gloves, the guy takes home a gift box containing the panties. Without checking, the guy rushes the suspect gift to his sweetie, after drafting this loving & helpful note...
"I chose these because I notice you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me a pair she'd been wearing for the last three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she more...

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's
birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful
consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right
note: romantic, but not too personal.

Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom
and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of
panties for herself.

During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got
the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the
contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his
sweetheart with the following note:

"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of
wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for
your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but
she wears short ones that are easier to remove.

"These are a more...

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetie for Valentine's Day. As they had not been dating very long, it was a very difficult decision. After careful consideration he decided a good gift would be a pair of gloves. Accompanied by his sister, he went to the store and bought the gloves. His sister purchased a pair of panties at the same time. The clerk carefully wrapped both items but in the process got them mixed up. The sister was handed the gloves and the young man got the panties. The young man mailed his Valentine's Day gift with the following note:"This special Valentines Day gift was chosen because I noticed you are in the habit of not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister, I would have chosen the ones with buttons, but she prefers short ones that are much easier to remove." These are a lovely shade, the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly more...

(Hi guys, I received these jokes from a friend. May be a little outdated but still enjoyable.)
1) When Paula Barbieri signed up for MCI friends and family, what was the first number she gave?
- "911"
2) What was the best selling Halloween Costume the previuos year?
- An O. J. Simpson costume.
Why are stores refusing to carry it?
- They are always returned because the gloves don't fit.
3) Who's the dumbest person in America?
- OJ's next girlfriend!
4) The Florida Orange Growers Association has offered to pay all of OJ's legal bills on one
condition.
- He has to change his name to snapple.
5) Why did OJ's kids want to live with their dad?
- They knew they could get away with murder.
6) Where was Kato Kalin between 9 and 12?
- In the fourth grade.
7) What did Johnny Cochran say when accused of beating his wife?
- At least I didn't kill her like some people I know.
8) It seems that Bob more...