God Jokes / Recent Jokes

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate
and says, "You`ve been a good cat all of these years.
Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask."
The cats says, "Well, I lived all my life with a poor
family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.
" God says, "Say no more." And instantly, a fluffy
pillow appears. A few days later, 6 mice are killed
in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven.
God meets them at the gate with the same offer that,
He made the cat.
The mice said, "All our lives we`ve had to run.
We`ve been chased by cats, dogs and even women with
brooms. If we could only have a pair of roller skates,
we wouldn`t have to run anymore." God says,
"Say no more." And instantly, each mouse is fitted
with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.
About a week later, God decides to check and see how
the cat is doing. The more...

God created the world in SIX days
But it took him centuries to come up
with someone as beautiful..
as U!

Mother: "Did you know that God was present when you stole that cookie from the kitchen
"Yes" replied the small boy.
"And he was looking at you all the time" - said mother.
"Yes" said the boy
"And what do you think he was saying to you?"
"He was saying - "There's no one here but the two of us - take two!"

A Christian man had just died and was on his way to heaven. When he got to the gates of heaven he met an angel. The angel asked him what God's name was.

' Oh that's easy,' the man replied,' His name is Andy.'

' What make you think his name is Andy?' the angel asked incredulously.

' Well, you see at Church we used to sing this song' Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me.'

Imagine praying and hearing this:

"Thank you for calling My Father's House. Please select one of the following four options:
* Press 1 for requests.
* Press 2 for thanksgiving.
* Press 3 for complaints.
* For all other inquiries, Press 4."

What if God used the familiar excuse: "All of the angels are helping other customers right now. Please stay on the line. Your call will be answered in the order it was received."
Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call on God in prayer?
* "If you'd like to speak with Gabriel, press 1."
* "For Michael, press 2."
* "For any other angel, press 3."
* "If you want King David to sing you a psalm, press 6."

"For reservations at My Father's House, simply press the letters J-O-H-N on the keypad, followed by the number 3-1-6."
"For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the more...

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the evil that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time. When she returned, she told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are wicked and 5% are good. He thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion." So God called another angel and sent her to Earth for a time too. When the angel returned she went to God and said, "Yes, the Earth is in decline; 95% are bad and 5% are good." God was not pleased. So He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good because he wanted to encourage them. . . give them a little something to help them keep going.
Do you know what that E-mail said?


Guess you didn't get it either.

God is one, gods are many. All are great, pick up any. Believe me when I mention. Every god has a different complexion. Some are red, some are blue. Some have a saffron hue.

Each devotee has a yearning. Be it wealth, be it learning. Seers know the hidden thing. Let Joshi his Vandana Singh!