Golfing Jokes / Recent Jokes

One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway.

He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge knot on his head, and the golf ball lying right beside him.' Goodness,' says the golfer, and proceeds to revive the poor little guy.

Upon awaking, the little guy says,' Well, you caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun. I will grant you three wishes.'

The man says,' I can't take anything from you, I'm just glad I didn't hurt you too badly,' and walks away.

Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun thinks,' Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things that I would want. I'll give him unlimited money, a great golf game, and a great sex life.'

Well, a year goes past (as they often do in jokes like this) and the more...

One day, Jim and Bob are out golfing. Jim slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his 8-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball.
The brush is quite thick, but Jim searches diligently and suddenly he spots something shiny. As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is in fact an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball.
Jim calls out to his golfing partner in excitement, "Hey Bob, come here, I got trouble down here."
Bob comes running over to the edge of the ravine and calls out, "What's the matter Jim?"
Jim shouts back in a nervous voice, "Throw me my 7-iron...
You can't get out of here with an 8-iron!"

One day, Jim and Bob are out golfing. Jim slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his 8-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball.
The brush is quite thick, but Jim searches diligently and suddenly he spots something shiny. As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is in fact an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball.
Jim calls out to his golfing partner in excitement, "Hey Bob, come here, I got trouble down here."
Bob comes running over to the edge of the ravine and calls out, "What's the matter Jim?"
Jim shouts back in a nervous voice, "Throw me my 7-iron... You can't get out of here with an 8-iron!"

One day, Jim and Bob are out golfing. Jim slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his 8-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball.The brush is quite thick, but Jim searches diligently and suddenly he spots something shiny. As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is in fact an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball.Jim calls out to his golfing partner in excitement, "Hey Bob, come here, I got trouble down here."Bob comes running over to the edge of the ravine and calls out, "What's the matter Jim?"Jim shouts back in a nervous voice, "Throw me my 7-iron... You can't get out of here with an 8-iron!"

Four married guys go golfing.While playing the 4th hole, the following conversation took place:
1st Guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."
2nd Guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife I will build a new deck for the pool."
3rd Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife I will remodel the kitchen for her.
They continued to play the hole when they realized that the 4th guy hadn't said anything. So they asked him, "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?"
4th guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 a.m. and when it went off, I shut off the alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said,' golf course or intercourse?'"
She replied, "Wear your sweater".

A guy goes golfing with his girlfriend. As he tees off, she steps into ladies' teebox and gets hit in the head with his drive. She is pronounced D. O. A. and taken to the morgue.

The coroner calls him in and says, "She definitely died from a blow to the head caused by the golf ball. But the only thing we can't understand is why was there a golf ball in her rectum?"

"Oh," he replies, "that must have been my mulligan."

A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the woman asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?"

The man said, "No dear." The woman said, "I'm sure you would."
So the man said, "Okay, I would".

Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?"

And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so."

Then the woman asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?"

And the man replied, "No, she's left handed."