Gosh Jokes / Recent Jokes

In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. He was ahot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, "Gosh! If I go down threeinches I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed."There was a fish in the water thinking, "Gosh! If that fly goes down threeinches I can eat him."There was a bear on the shore thinking, "Gosh! If that fly goes down threeinches... that fish will jump for the fly... and I will eat him."It also happened that a hunter was further up the bank of the lake, preparing to eat a cheese sandwich. "Gosh!" he thought, "If that fly goesdown three inches... and that fish leaps for it... that bear will exposehimself and grab for the fish. I'll shoot the bear and then have a properlunch."You probably think this is enough activity for one bank of a lake, but Ican tell you there was more. A wee mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking, "Gosh! If that fly goes downthree inches... and that more...

In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. He was ahot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, "Gosh! If I go down threeinches I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed."There was a fish in the water thinking, "Gosh! If that fly goes down threeinches I can eat him."There was a bear on the shore thinking, "Gosh! If that fly goes down threeinches... that fish will jump for the fly... and I will eat him."It also happened that a hunter was further up the bank of the lake, preparing to eat a cheese sandwich. "Gosh!" he thought, "If that fly goesdown three inches... and that fish leaps for it... that bear will exposehimself and grab for the fish. I'll shoot the bear and then have a properlunch."You probably think this is enough activity for one bank of a lake, but Ican tell you there was more.A wee mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking, "Gosh! If that fly goes downthree inches... and that more...

A blond, a burnett and a red head go hunting. The red head comes back with a deer.
"Oh, my, gosh how did you do that?" The blond and the burrnet said.
"I saw the trakes, I followed the tracks, and I shot the deer.
Next, the burnett comes back with a bear.
"Oh, my, gosh how did you do that?" The bland and red head said.
"I saw the trakes, I followed the tracks, and I shot the bear.
Well, the blond comes back and she is just beat up, her clothes are ripped and there was blood everywhere. The other 2 go
"Oh, my, gosh, what happened to you?"
The blond replied, " I saw the trakes, I followed the tracks, and I got hit by a train."

There was a fly sitting on a leaf by the lake. The fly was feeling really hot and kept thinking to himself, "gosh... if I go down three inches... I will be able to feel the mist from the water."
There was a fish in the water thinking, "gosh... if that fly goes down three inches I can eat him." And the fly knew it.
There was a bear on the shore thinking, "gosh... if that fly goes down three inches... and the fish grabs the fly... I can eat that fish."
There was a hunter on the bank of the lake getting ready to eat his sandwich thinking, "gosh... if that fly goes down three inches... and that fish grabs that fly... and that bear grabs the fish... I can shoot that bear and have me a really good lunch."
There was a mouse by the hunter's foot thinking... "gosh... if that fly goes down three inches... and that fish grabs that fly... and that bear grabs that fish... the hunter will drop his cheese sandwich."
A cat lurking more...

'Twas the Night before Christmas, has lots of rhymes.
But do you think the story really fits with our times?
We don't have a chimney, our socks are in the wash.
Dreaming of sugar plums? Oh my gosh!
And what's with a kerchief? Our dad wears no cap.
He snores all night, you call that a nap?
They tell us that Santa is coming tonight.
He'll be flying in here on a sleigh, YEAH, RIGHT!
When we were much younger we believed all that stuff,
Now that we're older we know it's a bluff.
This Christmas eve is not going as we wish.
So we snuck down the stairs to turn on the dish.
All involved in the movie, we wouldn't hear a mouse.
But this clatter, meant a party at the neighbor's house.
As we sprang to our feet, to see who was out there,
We couldn't believe reindeer, no, not on a dare!
We looked at each other, and gave out a squeak.
Someone is coming, oh what a sneak.
No, it's just Dad going to the more...

At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, "Who here has ever seen a ghost?" Most of the hands go up. "And how many of you have had some form of interaction with a ghost?" About half the hands stay up." OK, now how many of you have had physical contact with a ghost?" Three hands stay up; there's a slight murmur in the crowd. "Gosh, that's pretty good. OK, have any of you ever, uh, been intimate with a ghost?" One hand stays up. The speaker blinks. "Gosh, sir, are you telling us that you've actually had sexual contact with a ghost?" The guy with his hand up suddenly blushes and says, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you said "goat'."

this lady went to this delly to buy a ham and she asked the butcher how much that ham was and he said oh that damn ham and the lady said oh my gosh i cant believe you just said that to me you know my husbands the preist and he said oh no thats the name of the company damn ham so she said okay then ill take that damn ham then her husband came home and he was like something smells bewitches and he asked what is it and she said oh its that damn ham i got at the butcher shop and he said oh my gosh i cant believe you said that to me you know im the preist and she said oh no thats the name of the company damn ham and he said oh so it became dinner time and there 15 year old son comes in and sits down and the dad says grace and askes their son hey would you pass me that damn ham please and then the son says aw cool pops pass me the fucking potatoes