Grade Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. In kindergarten your idea of a good friend was the person who let you have the red crayon when all that was left was the ugly black one.
2. In first grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went to the bathroom with you and held your hand as you walked through the scary halls.
3. In second grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you stand up to the class bully.
4. In third grade your idea of a good friend was the person who shared their lunch with you when you forgot yours on the bus.
5. In fourth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who was willing to switch square dancing partners in gym so you wouldn't have to be stuck do-si-do-ing with Nasty Nicky or Smelly Susan.
6. In fifth grade your idea of a friend was the person who saved a seat on the back of the bus for you.
7. In sixth grade your idea of a friend was the person who went up to Nick or Susan, your new crush, and asked them to dance with you, so that more...

American University Grading Procedures Here is a list of the ways professors here at the AmericanUniversity grade their final exams:DEPT OF STATISTICS: - All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY: - Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, closethem and turn them in. The professor opens the books andassigns the first grade that comes to mind.DEPT OF HISTORY: - All students get the same grade they got last year.DEPT OF RELEGION: - Grade is determined by God.DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY: - What is a grade? LAW SCHOOL: - Students are asked to defend their position of why theyshould receive an A.DEPT OF MATHEMATICS: - Grades are variable.DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE: - If and only if the student is present for the final andthe student has accumulated a passing grade then the studentwill receive an A else the student will not receive an A.MUSIC DEPARTMENT: - Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - more...

A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were
actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading these keep in mind that these are first graders...Better to be safe than - punch a 5th grader.Strike while - the bug is close.It's always darkest before - Daylight Saving Time.Never underestimate the power of - termites. You can lead a horse to water but - how? Don't bite the hand that - looks dirty. No news is - impossible. A miss is as good as a - Mr. You can't teach an old dog new - math. If you lie down with dogs, you'll - stink in the morning.Love all, trust - me.The pen is mightier than the - pigs.An idle mind is - the best way to relax. Where there's smoke there's - pollution.Happy the bride who - gets all the presents. A penny saved is - not much. Two's company, three's - the Musketeers. more...

"Mama, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. Is dat becoss I`m Norvegian?" "No, it`s because you`re NINETEEN."

A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students, Johnny.' 'I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!''
The teacher had had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office. While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agrees to take the test.
' ' What is 3x3?' '
' '9.''
' 'What is 6 x 6? ''
' '36.''
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader should know. The principal looked at the teacher and told her he thought Johnny belonged in third grade.
' 'Let me ask him some questions. What does a cow have four of more...

____________________University
To: Professor____________________ From:___________________________
I think my grade in your course, ___________________, should be changed from ______ to _______ for the following reasons:
______1. The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did.
______2. The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did.
______3. This course will lower my Grade Point Average and I won't get into
______Medical School ______Graduate School
______Dental School ______My Fraternity/Sorority
______The Mickey Mouse Club ______Tri County Tech
______4. I have to get an A in this course to balance the F in _______________.
______5. I'll lose my scholarship.
______6. I'm on a varsity sports team and my tutor couldn't find a copy of your exam.
______7. I didn't come to class and the person whose notes I used did not cover the material asked for on the exam.
______8. I studied the basic principles and more...

____________________University
To: Professor____________________ From: __________________I think my grade in your course, ___________________, should be
changed from ______ to _______ for the following reasons:
______1. The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did.
______2. The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did.
______3. This course will lower my Grade Point Average and I won't get into:
______ Law School
______Medical School ______Graduate School
______Dental School ______My Fraternity/Sorority
______The Mickey Mouse Club ______Tri County Tech
______4. I have to get an A in this course to balance the F in
_______________.
______5. I'll lose my scholarship.
______6. I'm on a varsity sports team and my tutor couldn't find a copy of your exam.
______7. I didn't come to class and the person whose notes I used did not cover the material asked for on the exam.
______8. I studied the basic more...